things going around in a circle
what one person considers to be work
another person would not
but to me it is work
to do art work
what is communication?
sometimes when the news is bad
don’t read the newspaper for 3, 4, 5 days
then when you pick up the paper later
now suddenly the topic is not being covered
the negative topic
try to make maps
many maps are many ways to see reality
don’t take a song the way it is sung if it offends you deeply or if it is wrong, as you see it.
because some songs are from the dark side of fear, fear of laughter, fear of insults, fear of losing, etc.
so instead of “glycerine, should have been easier on you, you, you, glycerine”
(the first time I hear that song I thought it would be an insult and a curse for parents to name their daughter Glycerine, as if she were Goo, as if she were a kind of transparent glue or a kind of gelatinous mass of something close to food, yet the very opposite of what I call Pure Electric. The story goes like this: in the beginning of time, Pure Electric, through Destiny, as it was destined to take place, Pure Electric as a series of electrical patterns came to this land, this world, which was a paradise. but because Pure Electric wanted certain things, very soon greed for gold, greed for beautiful women, greed for artificial technology, etc., overwhelmed the fragile ecosystem to a large extent. So there is royalty of Pure Electric and royalty of Goo. Yet in some sense these two kingdoms were at war with each other for aeons. Goo honors the Mother more, while Pure Electric honors purity, the blue eyes, the blue skies, technology. Unfortunately, Pure Electric to the extent that it re-creates Atlantis, is perhaps doomed to destroy itself again and again. The phoenix which burns itself to death, only to rise from its own ashes.
if there are different breeds of kangaroo, or different breeds of rabbit (I personally have seen a grey hare, a greyish/snow colored rabbit in winter–) then who cares? who cares if there are red haired people, blonde people, dark haired people? am I trying to make a point?
value beauty. yet each race has its own version of beauty. God bless them. having said that, the bottom line is each individual needs to have enough money to pay bills.
anyway, instead of “glycerine, should have been easier on you, you, you, glycerine.” I sing “HONESTY. SHOULD HAVE BEEN TOUGHER ON YOU, YOU, YOU, HONESTY.” so when the 18 year olds accuse me of being a faggot and laugh at me, I’m going to be talking to them about a state that allows people enough warmth and hospitality that homeless alcoholic people in this very city in northern Minnesota do not freeze to death. because it seems like every year we hear about a homeless man freezing to death because the bar closed down and in some cases at least in the past, some homeless shelters did not accept alcoholic people who had been drinking. this is not acceptable. think about how the Russian serfs were treated before the Russian Revolution. They were whipped with the cruelest whips in the world. So the Internationale has a special place for me in looking at the history of the world. it is a song that talks about the ideals of a society where everybody helps each other. The Soviet Union itself, unfortunately, would torture dissidents, and so I was against it. but think of, for example, a sharing society where, as in the days of early Christianity, property and possessions were held in common. were they happy? read VALIS by Philip K. Dick.
network. not everyone is either a friend or an enemy. that is an duality, and a false dichotomy. there are more than 2 colors, thus there are more than two states between two people. two people can get together and help each other in a variety of ways. and networking leads to networking.
communicate. sometimes the time comes to do nothing, to do nothing at all. rest. the key to happiness is “having something to do.”
to tell the truth
i am against psychiatry
particularly the rape/tie people down type of psychiatry
particularly the forcing drugs on people type of psychiatry
yes it is a nightmare.
stand up for people’s rights.
stand up for The People’s Rights.
having said that, i already told many of my stories
and i have to be in the present moment.
look for opportunities to move beyond.
use language to support people, not destroy society
but if societal institutions need to change, let’s change them.
i try to think win/win
we seem to have reached a point in this society
where popular culture celebrates powerlessness of women
while at the same time more and more powerful women come to dominate certain kinds of men.
beware the satanism of the TV set, of movies, of popular music.
and fight for your rights.
speak Truth to power
and with the Almighty on our side, the so called “powerful” will have no choice but to back down.
freedom is something worth fighting for.
at one hospital I believe they tried to weaken my physical body by tying my elbows to the side of the bed. I remember this very clearly. meanwhile there was a lack of sleep because if I tried to move my physical body at night, it would set off alarms. in some sense the TV seemed to become a feedback thing. there was an episode on TV in which the deputy of the sheriff believed himself to the the one in town who was indeed the very one who was directly descended from the person without whom the Revolutionary War would have failed from the American side. but it turned out to be the town drunk. this leads to a question: if I were directly descended from the highest High Elf King, and in some sense shared his essence, (here I am speaking in part in a fantastical way, as if I were within these books I read when I was young, like Don Quixote.) (someone once said we are all Don Quixotes, each of us believing what we want and being convinced of it, and condescending to give other people only part of what we see as the Truth.) (then here comes along someone like Jesus, and we nail him to a cross for believing what he believed.) another show that I saw part of just before they let me go at that hospital was a show about going off of alcohol. a man was beat up and just about left for dead. out in the Old West. another man found him, poured alcohol down the beaten man’s throat. “you tried the cure, eh? well remember this.” he made sure the mostly unconscious, beaten man was swallowing the hard liquor. then he said to him, “go out of town. and don’t come back.” a boy later found the man lying motionless there. the boy said, “boy, someone must have beat you up. it must have took 20 men to beat someone like you up.” the man said, “it took enough.” the boy said, “let me get a doctor.” the man said, “no, no.” at that point the two of them went off to figure something out. of course my relatives took me out of the one hospital only to try to get me into another hospital. some families value money and power far more than love. God bless them. I don’t want anything bad to happen to them. but I have to get my self respect. I am still working on my self respect. what would it mean for me to have self respect? self respect is a term I esteem far more highly than self esteem, or even self image.
I can truly say that some of the most loathesome people I have ever come across have worked in psychiatric institutions. I figured out one time that one strategy they might have is to try to label me as a “schizophrenic” which by its very essence does not mean anything, merely that being out of tune with communication a person might not take a bath or shower for a few days psychiatry, as a torture technique, tries its best to gather evidence once evidence is gathered, people try to go before a judge and present the so called “evidence” for further shock treatment, brain disabling, forcible drugging, tying down, “raping” of a sort, and so on. and so psychiatry as such in America is one of the most evil things I have ever come across not “evil” in the sense of God vs. the devil but “evil” in the sense of trying to break people down and enslave people, trying to damage and torture people and make them dependent on other people and institutions. so I would ask to take a shower. at this at one place they (the workers there) would smirk and pretend that they were writing something down. sometimes I would have to shout for 6 hours in a row until I was finally able (allowed to) take a shower. WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE. WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE. 17.5 OR 22.5. WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE. WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE. 17.5 OR 22.5. the Russian missiles are on the way! You only have 12 minutes in which to live! yay! other “loud poems” had to do with killing the devil. In my imagination I claimed to be the Fool, of whom even the devil was afraid. TURNED HIM TO A CHAIR PUT AN AXE THROUGH HIS HAIR my strategy was to try to “spook” the workers so that they would allow me to take a shower. sometimes someone would come in and ask why I was shouting I would say, “they’re not letting me take a shower.” the other person said one time, “then ask to take a shower.” then I would, and the worker would bring me over to the shower room which was outside of the main gate of the circular set of rooms. different psychiatric hospitals have different ways of trying to label a person with this label or that label. of all the labels, “schizophrenia” is the most problematic, implying that the person is dangerous to self or others. I am opposed to psychiatry in part because it makes a judgement about a person based on potential actions of a person in the future rather than, for example, being like the Justice system, where a crime occurs and once time is served, the debt has been repaid. psychiatry seems to be based in part on deviation from the norm a crime for which there is never any limit of repayment unless you are able to “make it pay” by, for example, becoming an artist with a lot of money then the threat of a lawsuit keeps away the torturers in the guise of scientific quackery.
often a family splits apart.
is it “blessed are the Peace Makers?”
(as Jesus said)
or is it “Bhagavad Gita?”
(as Krishna said)?
one path leads to Christ being crucified yet again because of the blindness of the Roman Empire
as well as the idiocy of the traditional religious leaders
the other path is interesting.
both “Christ” and “Krishna” come from the same root word.
but when Krishna came to town, hundreds or thousands of women were interested in
Krishna making love to them.
having said that, Krishna advises Arjuna to fight against his own family.
when you’re from a certain type of family,
there sometimes seems to be a horrible amount of control – freak – ism
and yet on another level you are being told that
psychiatry is being used (as a torture process of course)
but that the judge and the lawyers and so on
are in the kangaroo court
“and now is the time when the family traditionally has been given
an opportunity to say something.”
of course “the family” refers to the family of origin
as the family of origin refers to themselves as virtuous sufferers
vs. the black sheep of the family
who still will not admit his own fault, his own faultiness, his own sin.
thus does a family split up
due to pride, the sin of the devil.
we live in a world where
a system is input
(and a mysterious fifth element ? )
I have literally been in a psychiatric hospital where they put some shit in the food given to me
with the body as a system the shit is the output
you don’t want to eat that.
science is sadistic
part of the torture of animals and humans
psychiatry is part of the torture of humans as well
I have seen human rights violations
and to divide the Masters from those who have absolutely no rights whatsoever
it is something that will lead to the extinction of the human race
unless we correct the balance
and make sure everyone is treated well, with full hospitality
and no shit is put in food
and no torture or rapes occur with the “Masters” laughing
the Fool sets out upon the road of life
the Fool is portayed as just about to step off a cliff
with nary a care in the world
i know a little about foolishness
what is a Fool?
to begin with, it is neither a positive nor a negative descriptor.
it can be the most powerful card in the major arcana of the Tarot deck
or it can be the most self destructive, most suicidal, most painful
set of experiences to go through.
Wisdom is a step by step process.
Read your Bible. Read books about the Bible, about Christianity.
i am not God.
if there is suffering, if there is foolishness
let us hope the imperfections, the suffering, the foolishness can be moderated
foolishness is to think you will “get away” with some things
different towns have different customs.
when LOVE walks in the room
everybody stand up
it’s good good good
like Bridget Bardot
sometimes the best thing in the world
is to watch a good movie
–makes you happy
makes you cry
good on ya mate !
lives her life from inside of her room
ooh jackie what fun you would (have) had
that it doesn’t matter and that
you don’t care
you went through switzerland?
you bought some attractive boots?
what is the female body made to do?
maybe it’s a virus
a virus of infection
infectious laughter from the gods
you think you are superior
women are made to be mothers
the maiden the mother and the crone that’s grown old
it’s OK that the good times roll
let the good times roll
she’s so beautiful now
she doesn’t wear no shoes.
(OK i borrowed some lyrics from a time of good music
when that most beautiful woman in the world from the East
found her happiness when her husband had sense enough to fuck her
until she got pregnant several times
if the idiotic insult comics on the evil idiotic TV set had the evil intention to put down a father of a growing family
a successful musician
a good man,
may God curse those who try to curse others. myself included. if i do so.
may God curse no one. may God curse no one.
but i am tired of a dualistic computer game having to do with “CONTROL”
which, brought to its logical conclusion, will once again lead to a French Revolution,
the infinite “OUT OF CONTROL” element
because the idiots tried to infinitize the “CONTROL” element
instead of “decision making by consensus”
or “the round table” of king arthur
listen to our american indian brothers and sisters.
the white race tends to destroy itself with its own foolishness, as with atlantis
what’s the big deal about becoming a shaman
and getting in touch with what the Spirits of Nature and Above are trying to tell us?
science and technology merely is a form of sadism to torture both animals and human beings.
given a choice, i tend to think i would rather have the Story (book, opera) of Les Miserables by Victor Hugo than a simple (yet complex?) (and frustrating) game of chess.
God bless you, angel in a movie. because you think you look angelic in that movie, you think just the opposite must be true, you must make jokes about being “no angel,” etc. people like you. women like you. do you miss the days of chivalry, when men would fight each other if a joke was made about a woman’s honour?
instead, we live in a day and an age somewhat of satanism. yet how can we be so sure of what is approved of or not approved of by God? please do not resort to blowing anything up, or as one rap music musician raps, “i blow up shopping centers by remote control.” such music is completely worthless, along the same likes as 9/11. yet where are the roots of 9/11? where are the roots of the boston bombing? where and how do the lines of causation exist that lead either to 9/11 or the boston bombings? nevertheless, if you know or do not know, if your heart is true, you must realize the heroic nature of those who risk their very lives to save the lives of others. the police. etc. security. on all levels.
did i just imagine that? maybe it was just a dream
i was in the front of a group of relatives at a restaurant. the poor over-worked and under-paid waitress smiled at me and patiently and politely told me she would not bring us to our table unless i smiled. i smiled. she brought us to the table. my brother joked with me that the fault had been hers, that she was “strange” but i think both he and i knew that it was my arrogance that had put a blank expression on my face, as if there was something “superior” about my family. another time a doctor said to me, “the Lord will destroy the house of the proud.”
what is my mission? what are my missions? do I have any knowledge whatsoever of anything at all? hide a clue. if you have 72 clues, hide them. some are lost, some are found, have fun. serve the USA. serve all of humanity. inalienable rights. the rights do not come from the Constitution. the rights do not come from the Declaration of Independence. the rights are inalienable, cannot be sparated from the person, from the body, from the soul, from the mind, from the Spirit, of the individual human being, given by God, if you so wish to believe, but even if you do not believe in God’s existence, the rights are inalienable. among these rights is the right not to be tortured.
I bought a faulty object from the bookstore (I’ve had enough good experiences from this particular bookstore chain that I would prefer not to name it) but then I walked over to the Fargo Target, where I noted, over 4 or so hours, a father tormenting his own son as a control freak would. “YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME!” was it that the boy wanted root beer but the Father wanted him to drink diet sprite or something? finally after trying to hook up this crappy device for 4 or 5 hours to something resembling an internet hook up network, I left and shouted, “I WILL NEVER SHOP AT TARGET EVER AGAIN!” it was at this point that I took the crappy object and threw it on the ground and kept walking.
It was my purpose to try to make it over to the grocery store, where I have a relative who works for the same chain of grocery stores. however, more and more cops showed up, asked questions (as if they cared what the answers were) and later I realized they were Target Fargo rentacops dressed as Fargo police. of course they guided me onto the parking lot, when they all fell on me and injected me once again with evil chemicals to get me once again tortured in a torture palace (psychiatric hospital.)
the only purpose of the torture palaces (psychiatric hospitals) IS torture. I don’t remember it, but I understand I put up quite a fight. just before all the smack thugs closed in on me at the Target Fargo parking lot, I was screaming “RAPE!!!!!!!!” of course the basis of psychiatry is rape, and nothing other than rape, because control freaks want absolute control. to struggle is to be raped with a needle.
thus the origin of psychiatry is infinite hatred. it is this infinite hatred that will bring about the extinction of the human race, if it is not exposed and moderated by concepts such as individual choice. let’s say, for example, that individuals have the right to take or not to take a particular type of drug. or no drugs whatsoever. billions of dollars are at stake. perhaps trillions of dollars. eli lilly. Bristol myers squibb. “the slavers are coming. the slavers are coming. their names are eli lilly, Bristol myers and squibb. they hate our freedom and they hate the madness lib.”
thus psychiatry always hates freedom of the individual. if they respected the freedom of the individual, they would respect the right to take or not to take evil pills.
ultimately these are the very pills that fuck up the pineal gland, fuck up connection to the Power outside of the Cosmos, and fuck up testicles and the ability to come to an orgasm. only the white race hates itself enough to try to castrate its own holy men, in more ways than one.
there is a war that will happen. in some ways it is already happening. anyone who loves psychiatry is my enemy. psychiatry is an insane realm where you are treated like a 7 year old and money is taken from you until you are traded to various owners like a player card, because……..
join the CIA in your own way.
help the Mossad in your own way.
marry a German. have an affair? it has been done.
I have no fear. I have no worries. What, me worry?
what is the story of o?
what are the images of the story of o?
X. UNDER THE BIG BLACK SUN.
protect the mints
we have entered the 7200th dimension
there are only 7200 dimensions
the equivalent of infinite dimensions
or is there an infinite number of dimensions, or 7300?
I do know I am 41
I am 22 years old
do I drink beer?
I give myself permission to do so
can I study the 12 steps?
I give myself permission to do so
can I or will I one day drive all the way to Detroit Lakes by myself in my own car that has no debt on it
carefully making sure I have a full tank of gas and enough credit cards etc.
to be able to buy gas when needed?
I give myself permission to do so
I already like a private investigator
like a public dick
(I am a public dick)
(I am a private dick but
when a private dick finds something out he must by law share it with the real authorities)
I like to call people a bit like Fletch
and Fletch Returns
and Fletch Returns One More Time
and Fletch makes a fool of himself and having sold out, gives an unending hellish panorama of hellish las vegas clichés
I don’t look down on relatives though
if they like to talk about las vegas all the time, it is time to fit in
I will only stay at the two queens
for the rest of my authorized and King James Authorized Version of my life.
getting back to the librarian in Detroit Lakes, she said the library could be found easily
she used the phrase “kitty corner.”
is there a “kitty corner” in Detroit Lakes?
is there such a thing as a “sex party” where the people just have sex in front of each other and don’t give a damn?
of course the wool was carefully pulled over my eyes in 1000 different ways by good and evil men
some people are convinced anti-sex is good
some people are labeled thought criminals
today I was told I could go thus far and no farther
to go no further past a certain hallway
and that if a certain phone rang, I was not permitted to answer it
although I can indeed answer the other 3 phones on the other side.
every day the rules change
Sheila let a fart so long ago, a little girl in about first grade
but I can still see the satisfaction
the look of satisfaction on her face
as she punishes those around her
as an ugly stupid somewhat retarded girl
but at least she can make our teacher and me smell this disgusting smell
what is the smell?
what is the stench?
is it blacks over whites?
is it women over men?
is it the permanent creation of a police state?
is it America as the world dictator?
what about the black prisons in Bulgaria where awful music is played at 50 or 100 decibels? for 8 weeks at a time? it is hard for those people to sleep
has America declared itself the god of this world?
because in church I learned that the god of this world is the devil or aligned somehow with the devil.
if we close off the borders at Mexico and Canada,
perhaps one day all the white men will be dead
perhaps one day all will go back to living in tribes
like the primitive American Indians.
is it true that white people are by nature more beautiful, powerful, good and true than, let’s say, black people?
what about the white girl I saw who had been tortured by a black pimp in Minneapolis?
I saw the torture in her eyes and she looked aside and smiled as if she knew one day the black pimp would be brought to justice, cosmic Justice, Ma’at.
I would be just as angry if anyone of any race tortured anyone of any other race and placed them into an involuntary situation such as sexual enslavement against their will.
having said that, there is straight people. there is that category. there is gay people. there is that category. then there are kinky people.
and this world may not exist for too much longer.
I wonder how much hospitality this world actually has.
if this world has no hospitality for the white race
perhaps amen ra will simply decide to destroy civilization.
“Kublai heard from afar ancestral voices prophesying war.”
listen to the soundtrack to judge dredd
judge jury and executioner
put me in a cell 150 levels below ground
and because of the lack of hospitality to a good man
I wouldn’t be surprised if America is someday so hated around the world
that not one brick is left of any buildings in America.
part of the problem is “the will to power.”
Viktor Frankl, the survivor of a concentration camp, invented a means of addressing the challenges of finding meaning in life by inventing a set of tools for “psychotherapy” by the general name of “logotherapy” or “meaning centered therapy.”
is it true that the Germans want to take control of a planet? Even the Japanese in the alternate universe (or is it the true universe) cannot stop them? in one Philip K. Dick book there is a character that likens them to insects, like preying mantises because of what they did to the Jews. In one concentration camp, according to a “friend” it was true that they forced the Jews to eat their own excrement and drink urine until the Jews died. (the same as my experience (essentially) in some hospital wards which do not deserve to exist. I hope someday that particular so called “hospital” is simply demolished and crushed, brick by brick, and the employees never employable again.) in another concentration camp, Jews were simply put into a vacuum. There was no air in it, just like in outer space (essentially). Were the German Nazis wondering if blood would first come out of the Jews’ eyes? or ears? or mouth? or nose?
Those who are anti-psychiatry have to be engaged in a dance. Just today I was told that this and this was a privilege but that and that was now the new law. Supposedly this was “for my own benefit.”
To be introduced to a family unit like a psychiatric ward both is and is not a family unit. There are rules.
Is it now the rule that contact information can never be shared? That email addresses can never be given? That if I am a journalist with a web site, I can never share the web site address with other people in a place where I am? Moorhead, Minnesota. Home of the pseudo-control-freaks. Fargo has some odd things happening.
Something happened within the last 6 to 12 months.
God Bless Them.
I don’t give a fuck.
I do serve the United States of America.
When in a game, there are rules.
There are areas not to go beyond.
There are meta-rules, by which rules can be set.
Is it KGB vs. CIA?
Is it Christianity vs. the Roman Empire?
Is it Christ Jesus against the world, which is dominated by the so called Prince of the World, the devil, or the devil’s top man?
Just say “The Lord Jesus Christ”
and already the Holy Spirit has entered your heart.
Get yourself a Bible.
I am a Gnostic Christian
In my heart of hearts I am a Christian Scientist
97 dollars a year for the Christian Science Journal
I finally gave myself permission to say the word “cunt”
in a store called “pink”
there is something called “hooking”
there was a girl who produced “out of nowhere”
a woman’s underwear
with the words “yes please” over the cunt
so I asked for it, and I got it.
I said the words were over where the “cunt” was.
She thought I may have insulted her or it took her aback
Soon I apologized and she said “it’s all right.”
That was a turning point of my entire life.
But when looking at what is on hogtied.com
there comes a point when a woman says “fuck”
and that is the point at which she finally realizes she cannot lie, cheat, steal, use devilish inventions like credit cards, to cut off the dicks of men, she cannot rationalize, or imagine the destruction of the entire male race, imagine controlling a man with a remote control like a TV set. when a woman in that situation says “fuck” that means she finally starts to smile. She will be back for more. She understands, then, finally, the superiority of the male race and the fact that women are made by God to be the “helpmeets” of men.
Study the Gorean lifestyle.
and the postures of submission.
It is the woman’s nature to submit.
there is an insanity among women, especially true with Andrea Dworkin’s “philosophy” that says that all sex is rape. thus among thought criminals, the thought crime itself is that sexuality is OK. the man with an active dick and a man who can reach orgasm must be punished by sadomasochistic, ugly, and stupid women until they realize that they must submit to a much more powerful set of forces and give respect where respect is due, for the sake of their own honour as women, or at the very least, understand the risk and danger of disrespect to a law of Zeus, the law of hospitality to a guest, and how a royal should be treated. am i a royal? am i a commoner? if i am a royal, treat me as a royal. if i am a commoner, i have a friend in Jesus. if i have “delusions” who gives a fuck? only the idiots do. and when the revolution comes, the idiots are the ones who will least