got to give respect where respect is due
to jamiroquai
often his songs are about coming from outer space
a mixture of sci fi themes and the 70’s music
jamiroquai, space cowboy
November 13th, 2011helping other people
November 13th, 2011you can’t get away from the idea of helping other people.
infinitely superior to sadism or ignoring other people.
in fact it is the very opposite of sadism or ignoring.
yet when you turn on the TV set what do you see?
sadism and meaninglessness and self interest, selfishness.
helping other people is the greatest privilege in the world.
i’m trying to learn about missions that help the homeless
and how Jesus enters your heart
and then changes your entire life around.
the smiths
November 13th, 2011you can’t get away from the smiths’ genius
morrissey
i’m of the 80’s, when i went to school
it is music from the heart,
the smiths
lakota, diane sawyer, 20 20
November 13th, 2011thanks to 20 20
for putting some info, a documentary style
show
about the lakota on pine ridge reservation
they suffer from poverty, from alcoholism
but that is not the whole story.
there is also hope.
mission 11/13/2011 poem
November 13th, 2011union gospel mission
new life mission
God bless them.
God turns around a life—-
Jesus enters one’s heart.
do not be a respecter of persons—- Proverbs
if someone comes to you in golden apparel
and someone else is poor
treat them with equal dignity and respect.
maybe the 99 percent deserve more respect
from the one percent wealthy—-
raise the tax rates, or encourage the wealthy to be more generous
in their giving.
we should have a society that encourages altruism from babyhood
and all through growing up.
INFINITE GENEROSITY FOR ALL
INFINITE HOSPITALITY FOR ALL PEOPLE.
THE MERCIFUL SHALL BE SHOWN MERCY.
dreary sin fills the internet
people who don’t believe in Jesus
they don’t know what they’re missing.
poem 9/1/2011a
September 1st, 2011time is what it is
i try my best
there’s usually some kind of problem
wash the dishes, wash clothes,
i wonder if God is soap or if God is like soap
let the old stuff disappear down the drain
i am saved by the blood of Jesus
i am washed in the blood of the Lamb, Jesus Christ
still, i must investigate what i must—-
what is human nature?
what is the best human quality or qualities?
i don’t like a society that has lots of homelessness
where are the compassionate helpers?
that old woman handing out free real estate brochures
that old woman was probably homeless
she just wanted to feel like she was helping people
in a society that told her she was worth nothing
i am dedicated to the poor
but it’s not a sin to want lots of money
if you want to use the money for a good purpose
helping the poor, helping churches, helping ministries and charities
i wish i could have helped that old woman
on the street
people want my money
say they want money for food
and i feel like responding,
i have credit card debt, so i don’t exactly have a lot of money myself.
debt is enslavement. debt is slavery.
all you can do is do the best you can.
true colors, cyndi lauper
June 19th, 2011great song.
that singer has soul. amazing music.
go for what you feel passion about.
do what you love and the money willl follow.
it’s clear when a singer loves music. it comes through in the music.
it’s clear when a writer has something to say. say it. do it. just do it.
“everyone is my friend.”
June 19th, 2011it is the wrong way to be, to listen to harsh and hatred filled music
i know, because i used to listen to that kind of music.
it is better to see everyone as your friend.
go up and give the glad hand to that guy you ignored from before.
don’t give in to the old divisions that cause non-communication and fear and hatred.
smile at people, don’t avoid eye contact.
“everyone is my friend.”
we are all equal in the eyes of God
June 19th, 2011we are all equal in the eyes of God
and we are judged by our actions
the old model was: the pharaoh is inherently superior
therefore worthy of a pyramid to be built
the new model is: we are all equal.
since ronald reagan, we have been moving back in time
thus, there will be more and more breakdown and hatred on the TV set for example
so: smile at people at the grocery store.
infinite hospitality and warmth are needed, not hatred.
i personally do not believe it is government’s job to supply everything to everyone
so…… that means “if it is going to be it is up to me” –rev. schuller
and we all have to help people. in whatever way we can.
the evil of nazis
June 19th, 2011a nazi was once asked
if you kill everyone except white people
then what?
he laughed and then said, “then we start with eye color and hair color.”
so……..
i think hitler’s germany was pure evil.
so……..
i hope no one thinks i’m a racist
but i occasionally read the books of ancient norway
poetic edda
the asatru ideals
etc.
corporations are a kind of tribe
you are loyal to your tribe
to your corporation
and i am definitely anti-nazi
the law, however, should not be used to justify killing white separatists for example
and by law i believe the army, etc., should allow asatru as a religion.
is advertising what the internet is all about?
June 19th, 2011i listen now to music from pandora
pandora.com
and there are commercials
and on the site itself there are advertisements
now they seem to be internal to who i am, now that i’ve put in hour after hour
and heard the same shtick over and over again
i’m not sure if i’m tired of it
but sometimes you have to turn it off and go do something completely different.
corporations in waking world, dream world
June 19th, 2011it is clear to me that corporations exist both in the waking world and in the dream world.
in that sense each corporation has a spiritual dimension to it
i was told one time about an intelligence agency
in a dream
and this agency, in turn, owned a series of corporations
each of which started with the two letters “di”
and they were i think maybe insurance companies.
or companies of some kind.
in order for something to happen in the waking world
sometimes you have to dream it first.
you find out what your deepest desires are when you dream
and you are given tests, and you are tested, what you believe.
“dream recorder’s underling
who answers to the boss
can’t afford a breakage
i’ll pay for any loss
let her come and look for me
she used to be the enemy.”
or
“she used to be a symphony.”
–The Church
a building missing a floor
June 19th, 2011there was a building
it was a big skyscraper
but one or two floors were missing
so the upper part of the building was just floating there.
i don’t know what kind of technology was being used to keep the separation there
is it like those who are white separatists?
what is the origin?
i tend to think i come from the planet called Planet Christopher
and i have some things in common with Christopher Columbus
and also the Saint, Saint Christopher
people can tell the truth in song
but that’s right brain thinking
did all life on earth begin
when a lightning bolt hit the earth, starting life?
that would mean the union of sky and earth, Father and Mother.
in one sense i have always existed, in potential, then in actual form
in another sense, i am because of my Mother and Father loving each other
in another sense, God loved me and He created me.
is God just another word for Destiny?
in that sense, (God Bless Him) Barack Obama
might be said to be “Destiny’s Child.”
because it was Destiny that created him, it was God that created him
so i have mixed feelings about this entire racist thing of purity
because what if the white race itself had like 100 different origins?
having said that, i don’t think white separatists should be shot
as happened in idaho
a husband and wife were shot by federal shooters.
what if 200 years from now there is only a tiny minority that is white?
then caste is important. and that means money making.
so in that sense is money more important than race?
there is the upper caste, the middle class, then there are the working folks, God bless them.
i hope people don’t think i’m a racist just because i’m speaking my peace.
i think America should make itself welcoming to immigrants.
i don’t like the new laws against immigrants that states are creating.
so…….. Asatru is interesting to me.
and i think the military should allow it as a religion.
a building is missing a floor
and a raggae singer says, Ziggy Marley says, “tomorrow people, where is your past?”
“tomorrow people, how long’s it going to last?”
i believe UFOs are evil. 100 percent evil.
be careful what kind of music you listen to.
welcome ALL not just some
because the Bible says there is a generation that will kill all the poor
(see Proverbs, toward the end of the book of Proverbs)
i hope that does not happen.
there is a consequence when there is non-communication, fear and arrogant pride.
problems with certain forms of Gnosticism and ancient civilizations
June 19th, 2011i believe there may be some knowledge that is accursed.
lovecraft talks about the “necronomicon”
it is the sum of all the most secret knowledge.
and it is accursed.
i believe the ancient civilizations, some of which we don’t know about
—-it is better to leave them alone.
i used to read lovecraft
h.p. lovecraft
and he talked about God, the creator of this universe, as a blind idiot God
Gnosticism is interesting
go for the direct stuff, the Gospel of Thomas, for example
if you try to find out about ancient and evil entities, bad things will happen.
i would even go so far as to say, don’t read lovecraft.
his universe is full of ancient and malevolent entities.
“not alive and yet not dead.”
and some fallen angels may be imprisoned beneath gigantic rocks
—-i read that somewhere. i don’t know if i believe it.
but why were the ancients moving around quarried rocks that were 2000 tons?
it seems that whoever divided the human race
and whichever civilization was advanced in the past
was into technologies that are incredibly advanced yet incredibly evil.
now we have science once again
and it is unclear where we are going as a species.
i had a vision of God destroying an insect city
because it was an abomination to him
in the days of Noah, only Noah was a righteous man in God’s eyes
everyone else was evil.
don’t go in the direction of trying to find out hidden secrets.
i used to read occult books
and now they are a part of me
but i neither encourage nor discourage those thoughts.
“as above, so below,
as within, so without.”
i do not recommend the occult to anyone
of course there will be people who will say,
occult always means satanism
and i am not a satanist. i am a Christian.
i just have studied Gnosticism
and i need to finish my race as the apostle Paul says.
learn all you can about Taoism.
often it is better to be silent.
“you can visit the entire world without leaving your house.”
the insurance cavemen images in advertisements
June 19th, 2011i have this to say about the cavemen images and jokes in advertising insurance:
it makes sense to me that, for example,
some people have hairy arms.
some people have less hair.
it makes sense that whenever the human race originated,
there were different origins.
i don’t personally believe in evolution
so…….. i believe human beings were always human beings.
in this universal cycle or a previous universal cycle, there were always human beings.
it seems to be in newspapers and on TV, this propaganda
about evolution, about our ancestors as monkey like creatures.
well……. there had to be a first couple. or a first group of people.
the Bible talks about Adam and Eve.
i believe there were hyper-intelligent entities in the past
and highly developed civilizations in the past
for whatever reason, God put his foot down
and destroyed the civilizations.
but i tend to think humanity has been around for a long long time
and it was the gods who “civilized” the first humans in this cycle
by, for example, introducing the concept of marriage as a ceremony and as a reality
and by introducing crops that can be raised, like corn and wheat.
but i am a Christian. so i do not worship other gods. i do worship the God of the Bible.
i don’t think these caveman images are funny
because it seems to be a kind of insult comedy.
some people have more animal in them. some people have more hair on their body.
God bless them.
then there is the propaganda that says that if you take the hair off your chest, you’ll be more attractive to women.
don’t pay attention to that propaganda.
again, it’s insult comedy and perfectionism, in a wrong direction.
and so……… don’t get lost in these advertisements, TV and internet.
“the best revenge is living well.”
money answereth all things –ecclesiastes
June 19th, 2011there is a good aspect to getting up early, praying
earning money. having a job. being willing to be a good worker.
speaking positively.
act as if the entire fortune of your company is on your shoulders
because you can’t just treat people as if they are unimportant.
“samurai willing to die for his lord.”
a samurai must always keep in mind that he must one day die.
so better to die with honor than dishonorably.
ecclesiastes in the Bible talks about money
money answers all things.
some songs talk about money as if you don’t really need it.
then there is the idea of “more money, more problems.”
the more money you see, the more problems you have.
not if God gives you the money, if you earn it God’s way.
don’t take advantage of the weak. the merciless will be treated without mercy by God.
don’t underestimate the importance of saving money.
save money. invest money. have money for retirement.
does the Bible say it is better to be poor?
it says money answers all things.
having said that, a good king i would think would be in favor of not much of a gap
between the rich and the poor
rather than an ever-increasing gap.
it’s not like the rich deserve all they can get, vs. the poor who survive on crumbs.
every human being has dignity and should have enough to eat, drink, be clothed and housed.
but it is a good thing to have money, if you have it.
better not to waste it on fast food, for example.
does money buy love?
the beatles say, money can’t buy me love.
having said that, if you are a homeless guy it doesn’t bode well for your dating prospects on a saturday night.
that leads to a discussion of “should we have homeless people? why can’t we feed and clothe and house everyone?”
i don’t care how you get to dairy queen, as long as you get there.
June 19th, 2011my 8th grade math teacher, mr. argent
would say
i don’t care how you get to dairy queen
as long as you get there.
in other words, he was all in favor of just doing something
and getting the right result
even if the process itself is different from person to person.
when i was growing up
people in my family sometimes
would get on my case about how i was using the washing machine.
now that i’m an adult,
and i have my own washing machine and dryer,
i realize that i can use them any way i like
as long as by the end point
all the clothing and sheets and everything is clean.
“use all you want, we’ll make more.”
likewise with human beings,
love means communication.
love means using.
love means being used.
you can’t be like the two ships that passed in the night:
very few if any of the passengers on the one ship were aware that there was another ship out there.
two ships passed in the night.
you can’t love and be isolated.
but you have to forgive the ghosts of the past
the memories of when you were growing up
and were yelled at
—–those people had issues.
but now years have passed.
use the machine. use the washing machine.
that’s what it’s there for. clean clothes are the result.
it doesn’t matter how you use the machine.
you could wash only one t shirt if you wanted.
for adults the rule is no rules, generally speaking,
as long as it’s not illegal or immoral.
misled by communism, vs. primitive Christianity
June 19th, 2011communism
in the former Soviet Union
seemed to suggest: free food, free place to live. free clothing.
a world without money (to some extent anyway, everyone was dependent on the government.)
i’m certain the Soviet Union in many ways was hellish.
so when the Soviet Union fell
it seemed to suggest to some people that a world of ever-increasing gulf between the rich and the poor
was inevitable. a world of capitalism.
God bless democracy. i believe in democracy.
i think capitalism is a good system too but in the future it will be changed.
think about primitive Christianity: a world without money,
a world where money and goods were held in common.
in other words, a kind of commune living.
i’m not sure i like that kind of communist thought.
having said that, it is food for thought.
did the early Christians think that this was how Jesus wanted them to live?
if i want to use my computer, i should be able to use it.
but i think we should blur the lines between “my” possessions and “your” possessions.
in other words, try to think about “a world without money”
or “a world with no possessions”
or a “world with many currencies.”
maybe the currency we use for basic necessities of life should be different.
maybe everyone in the world deserves food to eat.
there is a right not to be hungry, not to have only dirty, polluted water to drink.
to have clothing to wear.
and yes, Christianity is incredibly important.
but can people receive Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior
if they haven’t had anything to eat and are dying of malnutrition?
we have a strange money system
if money is created by chopping down a forest
but no value is given to the forest in the first place if it is not chopped down.
it seems to me that destroying mother Nature is part of the financial system we have right now.
i would agree, the Soviet Union in many ways was hell on earth.
but the communism of the early Christians is better than just being out there, just being isolated
as so many people seem to be.
you can’t be on the road to the meaning of life
if you’re just living a completely isolated life.
maybe every citizen should be given a web page
and if you have possessions to give away, just list them on your citizen web page.
yes i am aware that there are freecycle programs, and they’re great.
but too many people despair because they think no one cares for them.
maybe online citizenship would be a kind of education in what democracy is.
“everybody caring for everybody else.”
an educational series of web sites.
and if someone wanted or needed money, well, just list the needs on the web site
and someone else can give the money.
infinite hospitality for all people honors Zeus
June 16th, 2011infinite hospitality for all people.
can there be a world without money?
first work on maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
when everyone has what they need, it is better
than having some people have luxuries while other people go hungry
so…… i believe in educating the young
to be able to sacrifice, go without, so that money can be saved
so that the hungry can get food and people can get clothing
and a place to live.
we need to educate everyone.
maybe a TV station would be formed that is all about giving.
when i say infinite hospitality for all people honors Zeus
i mean that Zeus was the greek god that honored and explained and enforced
and rewarded
hospitality to the stranger
because to some extent, hotels didn’t exist back then.
not in all places. so people would stay with people.
i don’t necessarily mean that we should worship Zeus, or Odin, or any particular god of the past
but what i mean, i am a Christian, and i believe in Heaven, as the Confucians say,
“those above.”
in other words, they might be human beings, in a higher realm of responsibility,
or they might be gods, or they might be God himself, as talked about in the Bible.
sometimes the Chinese would think about Heaven as a bureaucracy, just like there are bureacracies on earth.
so in other words, it honors God to try to make a better society of human beings.
let the spiritual leader be a spiritual leader.
let the follower soak up whatever message the spiritual leader has.
because perhaps the follower one day will be a spiritual leader himself or herself.
and i am discouraged by what i see on TV.
so……. but i like some of what’s on. i sometimes like PBS
but i think a lot of it is missing the point.
if we’re going to heal this world
we all have to do what we can with what we have.
the internet in some ways is much more satanic than even the TV set
what with the pornography.
so……….
be careful little eye what you see
as the Christian song says on the radio.
the internet is a neighborhood where the best is right next to the worst
because the internet is a singularity.
be careful and be dedicated to spiritual practices
like praying, reading the Bible, praying prostrate.
humble yourself before the Lord.
again, i do not believe in communism.
because as it happened in the Soviet Union, it made a hell on earth.
but i do believe in people getting food, clothing, a job, etc.
i personally don’t think that’s government’s job.
“if it’s going to be, it’s up to me.”
ayn rand talked about the immorality of just taking money by gunpoint
in order to give to someone else.
and i think in some ways she made a good point.
but i don’t agree with ayn rand about “selfishness.”
and its attractiveness.
so….. i believe the opposite: a “potlatch society.”
a society, like that of the american indians, where giving
is highly honored.
a tired dog is a happy dog
June 16th, 2011a tired dog is a happy dog
go for a long walk.
especially in the summer when you can get a little sunshine.
be outside. go to a park. play frisbee golf.
don’t be inside all day long. if you are inside, have a good reason for it.
such as washing clothes.
celebrate early, celebrate often.
say the right thing and love your loved ones.
speak your lines from your heart and from your gut.
(in america) — good film
lutheranism and the epistle of james
June 16th, 2011i like certain parts of the new testament
that have to do with giving to the poor.
there are two points in the epistle of james
one talks about helping out the fatherless (orphans) and the widows
another talks about helping the ones without clothing or daily food
in first john it says, if you don’t help those who are in need
how dwelleth the love of God in you?
in other words, let us love in actions, not just words.
in james it says, faith without works is dead.
it really is the chicken and the egg problem:
which comes first, salvation or good works?
yet in romans 10:9-10 and 13, it is clear that salvation
is for everyone. also in the beginning of john.
“whosoever” or “as many as received Him”
that means anyone, any number of people
if the number of people were infinite,
then an infinite number of people could be saved by Jesus.
“whosoever” or “as many as” means exactly that.
there are no limits.
i know a pastor who is lutheran and does not like the epistle of James
just as Martin Luther didn’t like the epistle of James.
well, that’s too bad. it is one of the oldest parts, if not the oldest letter in the new testament
and we know Jesus had a brother named James
maybe he wrote it. or “James the Just.”
in the Gospel of Thomas Jesus says, wherever you are, go to James the Just
for whose sake heaven and earth came into existence.”
so…… to me the epistle of James is very very important
and i am not ashamed of what it has to say.
certainly as time went by
different kinds of Christianity had different emphases
some on faith, justification through faith
and some more on good works
it is too bad that some people wanted to stamp out (censor and destroy)
the Gnostics
but thank God we still have some of what they wrote
interesting anyway, i don’t know how to evaluate whether they’re true or not, but they are a part of a diversity of Christianity.
people loved the Gnostic scriptures enough to hide them
when otherwise they would have been burned
and they were rediscovered i believe in 1945 at nag hammadi.
one of my favorite parts of Gnosticism, the thomas tradition, in the Gospel of Thomas,
says that Jesus said, “find for yourself a place of rest
or you, too will be killed and made into a carcass.”
i think God gave us 6 days to work and one day to rest
because God knew there would be selfish and greedy (and even satanic) people out there
who would work people 7 days a week if they could.
there is a rest for the people of God. enter into your rest. (hebrews)
charitable giving and remembering who you are
June 16th, 2011it is a good thing to give to a charitable cause
when you know it’s not a fraud
give a little. give to the needy.
why should i spend money on my own luxuries
when others don’t even have what they need?
when others are hungry or without clothing and food and shelter?
we should all be dedicated to the hierarchy of needs
making sure everyone has what they need
maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
this is not capitalism. it is not communism. it is not socialism.
this would be a new way of thinking.
see the one percent club.
http://onepercentclub.org/underconstruction.html
they are working on a fundamental change in human nature.
toward more giving.
stop thinking primarily in terms of entertainment.
because then when you think in terms of “entertain me”
then you are like caligula, entertained by the death of Christians.
TV can be satanic, be careful with the TV set.
we should be more sociable and more social
there should be places where people can meet and talk and share.
public spaces.
right now it seems people are frightened and isolated.
or cold to each other.
socialism/communism says: “i will take money from you
by force, by the barrel of a gun
and i will give it to this other person
who i am deemed worthy of receiving the money.”
philanthropy says, “look within yourself
to make a change
because this world needs to make a change
for the better.”
if not me, who? if not now, when?
of course, that quotation is not mine.
“If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, then what am I? And if not now, when?”
rabbi hillel
we all have to be for each other.
but sometimes of course, let each other have some space,
some quietness,
even some isolation
before re-emerging and being sociable and social once more.
if we did not have psychiatry (as a pill pushing and electroshock pushing and locked door practice)
we would still have to deal with people who have “problems in living.”
so we would have to have some process. maybe a process without pushing pills
without pushing electroshock
without being for-profit
without locked doors.
in other words, soteria project. good stuff.
learn all you can about soteria houses.
you really remember who you are when you’re giving charitably.
let the spiritual leader be a spiritual leader
when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
who is a good man but a bad man’s teacher?
who is a bad man but a good man’s charge?
Taoism.
this is just an intuition
but i’ll tell you anyway: when a good movement arrives
having to do with charitable giving
i suspect it will not be centered around a magazine
that charges 90 dollars a year to subscribe to it.
a lot of people who are, shall we say, not rich
will not be enticed to buy a subscription to a magazine like that.
when a good movement arises having to do with charitable giving
there will be perhaps a sliding fee or it will be free
so all can participate.
no way to go through it but to go through it
May 6th, 2011go straight ahead.
no way but straight ahead. no way to
go through it but to go straight through it.
we all die sometime.
we all have to sleep every night.
if God is merciful he’ll turn out the lights when we’re not looking
good God. he is a Good Good God.
sometimes you have business.
share your business and what’s on your mind
with a stranger, with a friend, with a loved one, with a counselor, with a pastor
pray prostrate, that is, lying down on the floor on your stomach
to indicate to God that you have humbled yourself to Him.
i pray, “God, tell me what to do. you are my Master. Jesus, i will do what you want me to do. you are my Savior.”
a poet must make poetry. when inspired by the Muse, WRITE.
my high school english teacher shouted at us one day:
“WRITE!!!!!”
that was the biggest gift, that memory of him,
was the biggest gift i received from a teacher in high school.
maximum security vs. homelessness
March 27th, 2011it is strange to live in this society.
a criminal is seen as deserving food, a place to live, a job. a bed to sleep in.
a homeless person is seen as not deserving food, a place to live, a job, a bed to sleep in.
is it communism to suggest that people have rights, that the poor have rights, and that among these rights are the right to have a place to live, a job, a bed to sleep in, food?
but, you say, they have no money.
people could easily accuse me of socialism.
i’m not saying that government should provide these things. government takes taxes at the point of a gun, figuratively speaking, on the pain of imprisonment for not paying taxes.
i’m talking about a revolution in human nature, to become more philanthropic rather than selfish in pursuing luxuries. what about other people’s necessities?
“from each according to his abilities. to each according to his needs.” do i believe that? well i believe in philanthropy.
criminal minds tv show
January 9th, 2011i am becoming a fan of criminal minds tv show.
it’s one of the better shows i’ve seen lately. there will be horrible people. and therefore there need to be people who understand them, who are able to track them down.
i know we are all sinners. we all have sin. and therefore those of us with a little wisdom know this: we need Jesus. we all have sin. we are all sinners. Jesus is not only my Savior, but is the Lord of my Life for the rest of my life.
like a dog returning to his vomit, some people return to their addictions. that’s why you need Jesus every minute of every day. you can’t afford to skip thinking about Jesus for a few days or a week. get your word level up. read the Bible. that’s what the copelands say, kenneth copeland and his ministry.
there is also a spiritual element to law enforcement. a man who cuts off the head of another man (a case like this occurred here not far from fargo north dakota) is an evil man and thus needs Justice to be done. Justice, in this sense, is a spiritual need.
but jail and prison don’t change the heart of the person, usually. that requires religion, Christianity, because Jesus loves all of us when we are at our lowest point, when we are our most sinful self. and if he loved us then, you know he loves you now.
criminal minds, as a tv show, shows a bit of what it would be like to be a member of the fbi, to track down criminals. the human nature question comes up: how can they be soldiers, so to speak, in this war, while remaining human beings? again it goes back to this question that always comes up: ”What is human nature?”
dietrich bonhoeffer
January 9th, 2011i have “the cost of discipleship” in paperback. i will be taking a look at it soon.
my pastor is always talking about how much he admires and reads and learns from dietrich bonhoeffer. God bless him.
i remember discussing with my Mom the fact that bonhoeffer tried to kill hitler. didn’t the Bible say, do not kill? my mom said maybe it was all right when it was hitler who was being killed. i guess it is an ethical question, a question for philosophers.
my uncle, Jim Burtness, was an expert on bonhoeffer. God bless his soul. God rest his soul. he died a few years ago.
the cross and the switchblade
December 5th, 2010i’ve been having a good time reading the book, the cross and the switchblade. i genuinely believe God was active in David Wilkerson’s founding of Teen Challenge. someone once asked me what the most important part of the Bible was. i said, “God is love.” it’s from first John, i believe. John was the disciple whom Jesus loved. you see that love in the story of the founding of Teen Challenge. —-a country preacher called to preach to gang members and drug addicts in New York City. God bless them.
the girl who played with fire
December 5th, 2010i rented the movie recently, the girl who played with fire. i agreed with most informal reviews which said that the second movie was not as good as the first one. still, it fills in some of the history of the main character, Lisbeth Salander.
i read an article in the wall street journal about the author, who described Lisbeth as a sociopath and psychopath. from what i have seen in the first two movies, i would not agree with those labels. the author also describes her as having her own kind of justice. i just think Lisbeth has been through so much negative stuff that she’s now a survivor and can’t afford the soft edges that most women have. she is a survivor. she’s not going to be a victim. and i admire her in that sense. she is a warrior.
so, the movie is worth seeing. i don’t know if i will watch the american versions of the movies, because the swedish versions are good enough.
a bigger box
December 2nd, 2010one Buddhist said, if you have a problem or a mindset, you need meditation. you need a bigger box. once you put your problem or your mind into the bigger box, the perspective changes and you realize your problem is a small problem after all.
i used to exaggerate the importance of good and bad in my own life, my own sinfulness, until i got a good counselor, and getting things off my chest, and having another person put it in perspective has been good for me.
one of the first steps in alcoholics anonymous is simply recognizing that there is a Power greater than yourself. then you do not slip into solipsistic mindset. God is a Power greater than yourself.
the 5 senses are built for self-blame and guilt, but i have good news for you—- Jesus did it all on the cross, and wiped away every sin. we as Christians are washed in the blood of Christ and washed clean, as pure as snow.
the sundays
December 2nd, 2010it’s hard to put into words the emotions i feel about the music of the sundays. great stuff. i usually watch them or listen to it on youtube. amazing music. it is profoundly moral music, with great sadness and great happiness, but always with direct honesty.
resisting the temptation to argue
November 14th, 2010if you argue, you already lost
resist the temptation to argue
i only have the enemies that i recognize myself. someone else may think that he’s my enemy, but he may simply be mistaken. we may be on the same side after all, like a moebius strip that has only one side.
there is no evil, there is only ignorance.
taoism, martial arts
November 14th, 2010read the work of japanese martial artists. swordsmen. samurai. hagakure. the book of five rings. books about the code of the samurai.
read tao te ching. read chuang tzu. flow like water. be like water. water goes in places others do not go.
systems theory. a system consists of input, output, data processing and feedback. cybernetics. information theory.
if you have things on your conscience, confess until they’re all gone. but don’t go to a counselor or a psychiatrist. go to a holy man, a man ordained to be a pastor or priest. until all the guilt is gone and washed away and you’re clean.
you’re going to find enemies. you should be grateful to your enemies, says nietzsche. it is best to avoid conflict unless absolutely necessary. best to make decisions by consensus.
i saw a doctor’s chart and i saw that i was described as being “obese.” yes, i’m big. but is that a good or a bad thing? ”nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so.” –shakespeare, paraphrased quote.
and yes i can drink less pop, for example. drink more fruit juice. water it down and put in ice cubes. but if i were in a fight, i would rather be 370 pounds than 100 pounds. so there is a sense that big guys don’t need to be ashamed of being big. in fact my sister one time simply advised me, “maybe you just have to accept the fact that you’re a big guy.”
every day is martial arts. every day is a battle. get things done. defeat your enemies. zen would say it is all emptiness. but do what you need to do. a system that continues day after day has both up and down. both yang and yin. study the martial arts. do tai chi. exercise every day. pray to God. do what you need to do to engage in the battle of everyday life.
networking
November 14th, 2010what i have to say about networking is this: there are things you can learn about networking, regardless of whether or not you are a salesman. there are things you can learn from networking. you can have positive self regard. you can see yourself as benefitting society.
i used to think in terms of shame. it often seems that psychiatry is a business based on two levels. the psychiatrist is on one level, and the subjected person is on a lower level. of course, the psychiatrist would never take the pills that he pushes on other people. and it’s a form of abuse for those who are considered almost on the same level as homeless people.
networking is just the opposite. networking is like a win/win situation. it’s like two people who come together to do business, and both walk away having benefitted. i used to sit in a restaurant and listen to the music, “don’t talk to strangers. you know they’ll only use you up.” and i internalized that music. i didn’t talk to strangers.
now, with susan roane, with her philosophy, i know that talking to strangers is a good thing. of course, there will be a certain percentage of people who are out to rip off other people. but it is better to be open than to be closed. be open to new experiences. be open to meeting new people.
really, you are who you are when you deal with other people. we are who we are in relation to other people. the Bible says there is that which gives out, and yet increases. there is that which withholds more than is meet, yet it decreases. the only things worth anything in life are free. love is free. yet love is worth everything. a smile is where it starts.
i no longer have to be ashamed of something that is simply not true of me. i don’t consider myself to be (any given psychiatric label.) i am addicted to drugs, to psychiatric drugs, and so that is something that i have to be aware of. and going off the drugs is something i need allies for, and i am still in search of allies and people who agree with me that i don’t need these drugs the rest of my life.
i believe in making decisions through consensus. when all people involved agree on something, then it can go forward. business is the business of america. i can see myself taking a few business classes and seeing how i do. a man as good as his word is a man worth his weight in gold. in the old days, business was settled by a handshake. and when you gave your word to do something, you did it, no matter what. a good character is worth more than gold, more than jewels. and that starts with Christianity.
when i think of consensus, i think of the round table. a round table is a table where no one sits at the head, no one sits at the foot. and so i am a lifelong student of the stories of the Knights of the Round Table.
when you are saved by Jesus Christ, there is nothing to be ashamed of. the past is past at last, as mac gober says. you are no longer a sinner in the same way, day after day perpetuating the sin. instead, all things are made new. you are a new creation in Christ. the past is past at last. the pre-salvation self as a fool, a zero. after salvation you are no longer a fool. only a fool, for example, would be in favor of pornography.
at the same time, if you have done evil, you can try to maximize the good you do before you die. atonement is acceptable as a motive, regardless of its status with regard to salvation. it has nothing to do with salvation, which has nothing to do with good works. but once you are saved, you want to maximize the good works you do before you die.
confession is good for the soul. but confess to a holy man who can prescribe a path of atonement. to a pastor. to a priest.
networking is taking a position of leadership and comforting those who are hurting, or building up those who are broken down. networking means not being ashamed to be this or that. it is not you, but it is the so called doctor who is insane, in the sense that he has nothing good to say about you. if he were a man of God, it would be just the opposite: he would only have good to say about you, as a new Christian.
in that sense, psychiatry perpetuates its own evil: it depends on evil substances which are addictive, yet it sees itself as doing a charitable work, working with those who are in trouble.
the thing about so called “mental illness” is that it is only a form of communication. you can change your quality of communication, and thus you can change who you are. and if you sin, you can confess, and you can be clean again. don’t mistake confession to a holy man with confession to a psychiatrist, however. a psychiatrist is far from being a holy man. Jesus is the Advocate and he died for us in our place. even if there were only one sinner, Jesus would have died for you, even if you were the only sinner in the world.
Jesus said the world would oppose Christians. so expect opposition and persecutions.
the best salesman is the only who genuinely believes that he has something that can benefit all parties involved. so he is doing a favor by selling his services or his product. by consensus, the product or service is sold.
in that sense, i love Christianity because Christianity is the very best thing in life. Jesus Christ is number one in my life.
the point: having a positive self regard is to see oneself as having positive to give to society. work through consensus. find allies. learn from salesmanship and networking. don’t be “high hat.” friendship is free, yet it is priceless. love is free, yet who can exist without love?
no more caffeine
November 14th, 2010i have decided—- no more caffeine for me. no coffee. no pop. except the kind without caffeine. all it takes is one or two or three days of no sleep, and you get the message loud and clear. some people can tolerate caffeine. i guess i am not one of them. i can tolerate it 9 days out of 10, or 99 days out of 100, but when that insomnia comes, it’s a horrible experience.
i guess i used to rely on caffeine as a mood booster. i would get up in the morning, have like 52 ounces of pop or whatever, then more and more pop or coffee. now i’m contemplating the melancholy of life a bit more, but you have to enjoy both the ups and the downs in life. life wouldn’t be life if there weren’t any sadness.
insult comedy, bullying and Cassidy
November 7th, 2010if you’ve been reading the Forum of Fargo/Moorhead (Fargo, North Dakota) you’ve been reading these last few days about the suicide of a teen who had been bullied by the name of Cassidy Joy Andel.
it seems to me that insult comedy is the same as bullying. i used to like watching Saturday Night Live, and i still watch portions of it sometimes, but insult comedy is a kind of thing that should not exist. kids take their cues from TV and conclude that insults are funny. then kids are bullied and kids commit suicide.
it seems to me you have to have the opposite attitude of suicide. the opposite of suicide is to affirm LIFE INFINITELY. SAY AN INFINITE YES TO LIFE. that means no matter how much pain you go through, no matter what people do, you are a survivor.
i got that from nietzsche. say an infinite yes to life. even if life were an infinite loop, even if you were going to live exactly the same life an infinite number of times. ”eternal recurrence.”
life is like using a muscle. the more you live the stronger those muscles become. you only use a muscle if there is resistance. the purpose of life in some ways, then, is to become stronger, to survive, to thrive, and to reproduce, like the meaning of life of an animal. every kind of animal has weaknesses and strengths. a rabbit can run fast. read watership down. an amazing book.
all of this is not to detract from the tragedy of what happened with Cassidy. i didn’t know her personally, but it saddens me that she made that choice to end her own life.
i have a template for a watercolor painting that i do, and it is called “stand in the gap.” two angels are there, one on the left and one on the right, as if it were like the portrayal of the ark of the covenant, in raiders of the lost ark, two angels bowing down to that saying. what does that saying mean? it means no one is going to commit suicide because of me, and i will do what i can to prevent others from committing suicide if it is within my power.
the Bible says take mercy and truth and bind them in your heart. truth is not enough, you must also have mercy.
fighting for human rights, the way out is deeper in
October 28th, 2010i am a member of, or have been a member, of mindfreedom. based in eugene oregon. http://www.mindfreedom.org/
when i find out about someone being forcibly locked up or forcibly drugged or forcibly electroshocked, i often send an email to higher ups, such as the governor of the state in question. i try to stand up for human rights when i can.
i believe in a form of psychiatry where no one is forcibly drugged, no one is being forcibly electroshocked, where there are no locks on doors, and where no one is forcibly injected with drugs. i don’t believe in the medical model, which means i don’t like the entire philosophy of doctors, pills, hospitals, clinics, health diagnoses, etc. i do believe in what mindfreedom believes, and i believe in what sequoia believes, in fresno, california, and i believe in the soteria model, which was pioneered by loren mosher. it is a form of psychiatry that has no force involved and where people deal with each other as human beings, not as doctors and patients.
it is ironic that if you get involved in psychiatry, the way out is actually deeper in. you need to get as much as you can into religion, philosophy, and psychiatry, to become your own expert not only on your own situation and deepest beliefs, but psychiatry in general. after all, it seems to me that status involves a lot of things. conflict can create further subjection. you need a way out of the conflict paradigm and into a solution that we can all agree with. a consensus based way of dealing with people who have “problems in living.”
the way out is not in opposing authority. the way out of a particular form of psychiatry is to propose other, better solutions through a new philosophy of dealing with people who have problems. i like to say, “there is a war among the shrinks” but it really is the birth of a new philosophy that is not based on force or making a dollar out of locking people up and forcible treatment.
letter from loren mosher, m.d. resigning from a.p.a.
October 28th, 2010Loren R. Mosher M. D.
2616 Angell Ave
San Diego, CA 92122
Ph: 619 550-0312
Fx: 619 558 0854
December 4 1998
Rodrigo Munoz, M.D., President
American Psychiatric Association
1400 94 Street N. W.
Washington, D.C. 20005
Dear Rod;
After nearly three decades as a member it is with a mixture of pleasure and disappointment that I submit this letter of resignation from the American Psychiatric Association. The major reason for this action is my belief that I am actually resigning from the American Psychopharmacological Association. Luckily, the organization’s true identity requires no change in the acronym.
Unfortunately, APA reflects, and reinforces, in word and deed, our drug dependent society. Yet, it helps wage war on drugs. Dual Diagnosis clients are a major problem for the field but not because of the good drugs we prescribe. Bad ones are those that are obtained mostly without a prescription. A Marxist would observe that being a good capitalist organization, APA likes only those drugs from which it can derive a profit – directly or indirectly.
This is not a group for me. At this point in history, in my view, psychiatry has been almost completely bought out by the drug companies. The APA could not continue without the pharmaceutical company support of meetings, symposia, workshops, journal advertising, grand rounds luncheons, unrestricted educational grants etc. etc. Psychiatrists have become the minions of drug company promotions. APA, of course, maintains that its independence and autonomy are not compromised in this enmeshed situation.
Anyone with the least bit of common sense attending the annual meeting would observe how the drug company exhibits and industry sponsored symposia draw crowds with their various enticements while the serious scientific sessions are barely attended. Psychiatric training reflects their influence as well; i.e., the most important part of a resident curriculum is the art and quasi-science of dealing drugs, i.e., prescription writing.
These psychopharmacological limitations on our abilities to be complete physicians also limit our intellectual horizons. No longer do we seek to understand whole persons in their social contexts rather we are there to realign our patients’ neurotransmitters. The problem is that it is very difficult to have a relationship with a neurotransmitter whatever its configuration.
So, our guild organization provides a rationale, by its neurobiological tunnel vision, for keeping our distance from the molecule conglomerates we have come to define as patients. We condone and promote the widespread overuse and misuse of toxic chemicals that we know have serious long term effects: tardive dyskinesia, tardive dementia and serious withdrawal syndromes. So, do I want to be a drug company patsy who treats molecules with their formulary? No, thank you very much. It saddens me that after 35 years as a psychiatrist I look forward to being dissociated from such an organization. In no way does it represent my interests. It is not within my capacities to buy into the current biomedical-reductionistic model heralded by the psychiatric leadership as once again marrying us to somatic medicine. This is a matter of fashion, politics and, like the pharmaceutical house connection, money.
In addition, APA has entered into an unholy alliance with NAMI (I don’t remember the members being asked if they supported such an organization) such that the two organizations have adopted similar public belief systems about the nature of madness. While professing itself the champion of their clients the APA is supporting non-clients, the parents, in their wishes to be in control, via legally enforced dependency, of their mad/bad offspring. NAMI, with tacit APA approval, has set out a pro-neuroleptic drug and easy commitment-institutionalization agenda that violates the civil rights of their offspring. For the most part we stand by and allow this fascistic agenda to move forward. Their psychiatric god, Dr. E. Fuller Torrey, is allowed to diagnose and recommend treatment to those in the NAMI organization with whom he disagrees. Clearly, a violation of medical ethics. Does APA protest? Of course not, because he is speaking what APA agrees with but can’t explicitly espouse. He is allowed to be a foil; after all he is no longer a member of APA. (Slick work APA!)
The shortsightedness of this marriage of convenience between APA, NAMI and the drug companies (who gleefully support both groups because of their shared pro-drug stance) is an abomination. I want no part of a psychiatry of oppression and social control.
Biologically based brain diseases are convenient for families and practitioners alike. It is no fault insurance against personal responsibility. We are just helplessly caught up in a swirl of brain pathology for which no one, except DNA, is responsible. Now, to begin with, anything that has an anatomically defined specific brain pathology becomes the province of neurology (syphilis is an excellent example). So, to be consistent with this “brain disease” view all the major psychiatric disorders would become the territory of our neurologic colleagues. Without having surveyed them
I believe they would eschew responsibility for these problematic individuals. However, consistency would demand our giving over “biologic brain diseases” to them. The fact that there is no evidence confirming the brain disease attribution is, at this point, irrelevant. What we are dealing with here is fashion, politics and money. This level of intellectual/scientific dishonesty is just too egregious for me to continue to support by my membership.
I view with no surprise that psychiatric training is being systemically disavowed by American medical school graduates. This must give us cause for concern about the state of today’s psychiatry. It must mean, at least in part, that they view psychiatry as being very limited and unchallenging. To me it seems clear that we are headed toward a situation in which, except for academics, most psychiatric practitioners will have no real relationships, so vital to the healing process, with the disturbed and disturbing persons they treat. Their sole role will be that of prescription writers, ciphers in the guise of being “helpers”.
Finally, why must the APA pretend to know more than it does? DSM IV is the fabrication upon which psychiatry seeks acceptance by medicine in general. Insiders know it is more a political than scientific document. To its credit it says so, although its brief apologia is rarely noted. DSM IV has become a bible and a money making best seller – its major failings notwithstanding. It confines and defines practice, some take it seriously, others more realistically. It is the way to get paid. Diagnostic reliability is easy to attain for research projects. The issue is what do the categories tell us? Do they in fact accurately represent the person with a problem? They don’t, and can’t, because there are no external validating criteria for psychiatric diagnoses. There is neither a blood test nor specific anatomic lesions for any major psychiatric disorder. So, where are we? APA as an organization has implicitly (sometimes explicitly as well) bought into a theoretical hoax. Is psychiatry a hoax, as practiced today?
What do I recommend to the organization upon leaving after experiencing three decades of its history?
1.. To begin with, let us be ourselves. Stop taking on unholy alliances without the members’ permission.
2.. Get real about science, politics and money. Label each for what it is – that is, be honest.
3.. Get out of bed with NAMI and the drug companies. APA should align itself, if one believes its rhetoric, with the true consumer groups, i. e., the ex-patients, psychiatric survivors etc.
4.. Talk to the membership; I can’t be alone in my views.
We seem to have forgotten a basic principle: the need to be patient/client/consumer satisfaction oriented. I always remember Manfred Bleuler’s wisdom: “Loren, you must never forget that you are your patient’s employee.” In the end they will determine whether or not psychiatry survives in the service marketplace.
Sincerely,
Loren R. Mosher M. D.
being a lifelong student
October 28th, 2010it is good to study Shakespeare. it is good to keep up with what is happening with the world. it is good to be involved with politics. it is good to have a foundation on law, the constitution, the declaration of independence, the bill of rights, the history of america and the western hemisphere and european history. it is good to study other cultures and languages and literature.
i started studying a bit of law by buying a few books. i bought a good law dictionary. i bought a book about the first amendment. i consider myself to be a lifelong student. i consider myself to be in some ways (in my own way) a student of law. and i will stand up for whatever rights i believe i have, but i believe in rule by, decision making, by consensus.
one of the unfortunate things about america is that there seems to be a lot of hatred of the right for the left, and the left for the right. a lot of hatred between republicans and democrats. it would be better to honor the elders and have a ritual, like the american indians do, like the buddhists do, to bring about peace between factions and rule by consensus.
my motivation in being a lifelong student is to be a better human being and be able to fight for the rights of people. we don’t censor shakespeare’s plays just because people in them are evil or do wrong things. indeed, if they did not have faults, there would be no plays worth mentioning. but we are made better by seeing those sides of human nature, the good and the bad, and the outcomes, whether comedy (ending in marriage) or tragedy (ending in death).
goodness and mercy
October 28th, 2010the 23rd psalm. read it. memorize it. i remember in a movie before a man was going to be executed by a gun he started reciting the 23rd psalm. goodness and mercy is not only the quality of the Lord, but is always how the Lord wants us to be. he wants us to be gracious, longsuffering, merciful, and good. slow to anger, quick to hear but slow to speak.
as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord
October 28th, 2010the longest term alliance you can have is with God.
i am not opposed to people having fun in a place like Las Vegas. but i just don’t think it’s the longest term alliance you can make. what about all that nuclear waste and radiation they’re thinking about moving to nevada? and from nuclear bombs, etc. and the wasteland, the desert……. taking money from people because they’re not lucky, when the odds are against them, is not admirable in my view.
i am reminded of godfather part 2, where the main character was made head of the family because he is able to make the longest term and the best alliances for the family.
of course, if i were in the mafia, i would try to leave the mafia, it is better to be a Christian.
and reality is a mirror. we look at different movies and get different things from them.
“in america” is a movie in which the main character is a father and a husband but one of his children died because he did not care enough, in the past, to make sure that safety was number one, and the kid i think tumbled down and died.
it is an emotional movie, because near the end, one of the children needs blood and the blood is taken from another child in the family because the mother does not trust the public blood supply.
it is a good movie. the main character is an actor. he has to learn to say his lines from here (the heart) and here (the gut). that movie made me think more about acting. i had always thought that acting was fooling the audience into thinking that you’re genuine. but now i know that acting, being in the theater, the theater life, is to say your lines, but to be genuine, to have genuine emotions and thus to move the audience emotionally.
that’s life too. all the world’s a stage. you have to say your lines from here (the heart) and here (the gut).
hollywood has a lot of positives. it takes human nature, makes a dream out of it, and makes the dream into a movie. God bless Hollywood. at the same time, i love the Christians who want to change the world in some way. they start a movie to change the world. that is to say, their dream is a movie, their dream is a ministry, to make the world a better place. their life is a movie. they believe in Jesus Christ. and Jesus Christ is not done changing the world. he set fire to the world, and he is watching the changes that occur.
it is good to have fire in your heart to change people’s lives for the better. make society better.
WRITE! said Mr. Melting
October 28th, 2010one time my Composition/English teacher in high school looked up and shouted at the top of his lungs to the class: ”WRITE!”
what he meant was he wanted all of us to remember that moment, to write, to compose original writing, to be creative. he knew there could well be a time when he was gone, when he had died, and we were still alive, so that we could remember something about him, something good and some good advice.
he didn’t want us to go through life always accepting the bad things about life without complaining. there are Christians like that, so called, who say whatever government does is OK. so during the civil rights era, they would have been in favor of discrimination and segregation. no, there is a higher law than human law. there is a spiritual law that comes from Jesus and from God. you have to stand up for what you believe, sometimes.
he also wanted us to see ourselves as artists, as writers, as creative people. he wanted us to create, not to destroy or be always silent. Mr. Melting was a good guy.
something to look forward to
October 28th, 2010i asked my younger sister one time about what made for happiness. in other words, how you avoid depression.
her reply was two things: exercise, get a lot of exercise, so that by the time you go to bed, you’re tired and ready to sleep.
even in winter time. even if you have to exercise alone inside.
here i am elaborating and paraphrasing, but that is essentially what she said for the first point. get a lot of exercise.
second, she said have something to look forward to.
whether it is something happening later today, or tomorrow, or 2 weeks from now or 2 months from now, having something to prepare for and look forward to is something that keeps you going and raises expectations and happiness.
i remember ordering pizzas and being happier about waiting for them to arrive than actually when i’m eating them. there is something about expecting something to occur, waiting for something, preparing for something, that creates happiness.
empathy
October 14th, 2010what empathy means is that if someone else suffers, i suffer. if someone else is happy, i’m happy. i am happy at the good fortune of others. if others undergo suffering, i try to do my best not to add to that suffering, and i take no pleasure in it. i try to reduce that suffering. have empathy. the opposite of empathy is something that, if you follow it, may destroy everything. pornography can be the hatred of women for men, and the hatred of men for women. it is insane and self-destructive.
i am not ashamed of telling my story. i was wavering, like a wave of the sea, as is described in the epistle of James. ”a man who wavereth is unstable in all his ways.” i would follow Jesus for a short time, then i would believe in libertarianism and would support infinite freedom to set your own values, to say pornography was OK, etc. i wavered back and forth. then i would go back to Jesus.
now i have given my life and my heart to Jesus and i have invited Jesus into my heart and Jesus Christ is my Savior and the Lord of my life. i am no longer wavering, and it is the least i can do to proclaim publicly the evil of pornography. a porn actor now has HIV. it is obvious that this is a disgusting industry that destroys people’s lives. shelley lubben is also a Christian and a friend on facebook who i support and i am proud of her, having come from a porn actress to now being saved by Jesus Christ. she is not ashamed of the Gospel.
i am no longer that much into libertarianism. people do not set eternal values. rather, men must live according to the laws of a Just God. a man does not set his own values, whatever nietzsche may say. nietzsche says everything can be reduced to the will to power, and he talked about transcending good and evil, but nietzsche ended his life insane. people think everything would be better if the government taxed people less and if the government were smaller, but then we’d just have wealthy individuals and wealthy corporations doing whatever they want, to some extent. i am a Democrat and proud to be a Democrat.
budgets
October 14th, 2010obviously, the point of keeping track of money is that your expenditures need to be less than what you take in, in income. outgo must be equal to or less than income.
and that’s tough. but just trust God and trust that if more income is needed, God will provide. he is God the Provider. Jehovah Jireh. The God Who Provides. That is one of the names of God.
tithing is something i believe in. tithe 10 percent off your gross income. someone once said that God will provide manna as you make your way to your own Promised Land, but don’t complain about the manna. You can’t demand God to provide you a 25 dollar pizza every single day.
“do it now, or it will never be done.”
October 14th, 2010in life, there are times when you have to work, you have to be at work. then there is free time, but much of it is not actually free, because there are things to do, dishes to wash, supplies to buy and transport, and business of various kinds to take care of.
one philosopher said the greatest good is if everyone, every individual, takes care of his or her own business in the city. (the city represents society itself.)
be clean. wash dishes 100 percent every day. use soap. don’t be afraid of being able to afford the cost of dish soap. i use dawn. ”cleanliness is next to Godliness.” take out the garbage. if things need to be replaced or washed, do it. do it now.
that’s one thing i learned from Zen. do it now. or it will never be done.
“well begun is half done.” by the time you’ve washed a few dishes, you’re probably already half done, and it is more fun that you had thought. it’s just getting the ball rolling that’s tough. once you get going, you can keep going until all the dishes are washed.
life is like that too. be clean. you don’t need things that are spiritually unclean. i follow shelley lubben on facebook. she was a porn actress and now she is a Christian and an evangelist, not being ashamed to tell her story and to tell the good news about Jesus.
the x files
October 10th, 2010the x files (movie) is basically what i thought it would be. there are no real surprises. ”i want to believe.” scully and mulder are what they always are. they have had one son, who died. i thought the movie was worth watching. i remember the song in which the lyrics are “watching x files with no lights on.” so i try to do that now. when watching a somewhat frightening movie, watch it with no lights on. there are going to be those who try to get away with something, something evil, as in the movie (i will not reveal the key plot point of what the evil is in the movie.) i thought before starting the movie that it would have to do with aliens. but it did not. still, it was a struggle against evil and when it was over i wanted to laugh because of the hokeyness of it, but i guess the makers of this film did their best.
God is no respecter of persons. do not have respect of persons.
October 10th, 2010i’ve been reading the epistle of James and one thing that struck me is that it talks about God not being a respecter of persons, or rather that you as a Christian should not respect persons. don’t treat a rich person differently than a poor person.
i subscribe to some business publications. i subscribe to businessweek and it makes the assumption that rich people deserve to have long articles written about them, and the wheel of fortune, when they tried to get away with something and got caught and then perhaps ended up in prison.
spend some time learning about the world, but not all of your time. spend some good quality time reading the Bible and reading Christian magazines and books.
reality is not what we say about reality
October 10th, 2010when something is the case, it is the case. when something happens, it happens. we may need help in dealing with it. but it happened. in some families saying things is what seems to be most important. these are the pastor families, the preacher families, the politician families, the professor families. but reality is what happens. you either smile or you don’t. you either have what you want or you don’t. you can try for what you want. of course, life is not perfect, so God may allow you to have what you need but not what you want yet. the thing about smiling and making the other person feel welcome is that it costs you nothing, yet it makes a difference, the difference between being warm and being cold.
believer’s voice of victory
October 7th, 2010i watch the TV show, believer’s voice of victory, and i also get the magazine. the thing i love about this kind of Christianity is that it gives everyone the option of following Jesus and being saved. ”whosoever” means everyone. whosoever believes on the name of Jesus Christ shall be saved. it’s not an exclusive thing. everyone can be saved, if they choose to accept the free gift. and it gives hope for a good death, a good life after death, that God will be with you even in your darkest hour. www.kcm.org
repentance and salvation
October 7th, 2010i genuinely believe repentance is necessary for salvation to occur through Jesus Christ. to repent is to see how your own sins reflect both foolishness and evil, in your heart, as you chose to do evil or were prepared to do evil, and that you very much deserved to go to hell, except for the love and grace of God, for which reason, through Jesus Christ, you will go to heaven. to repent is to turn around, to turn away from foolishness and evil, and to go in the direction of Jesus Christ and God the Father. you need to be convicted of your sins. that means realizing just how foolish and evil you were. and therefore how much you need Jesus the Savior. Jesus loved us at our worst, so that means that Jesus still loves us today. but sin has consequences. the wages of sin is death. if you choose Wisdom, you will live. if you choose foolishness and evil, you will die in your sins.
absolute forgiveness
October 7th, 2010God says in the Bible if you have something against anyone, go and ask forgiveness. even if you’re in the midst of presenting a gift to church, stop what you’re doing, go and ask forgiveness. if you do forgive others, God will forgive you. if you do not forgive others, God will not forgive you. that is one reason i love the Quakers. they are a non-violent people. they are a peaceable people and a peace-making people.
meaning is seeking meaning
October 7th, 2010in logotherapy you seek the meaning of life. but for every person it’s different. you have to seek YOUR meaning in life. the meaning of life, then, is seeking meaning IN life. logotherapy was born when a Jew in a concentration camp decided to form a new philosophy of therapy and philosophy of life. viktor frankl. read his books. he found a way to keep hope even in what apparently was the most hopeless situation.
the family guy and insult comedy
October 7th, 2010i happen to catch some of the family guy cartoon every so often, not because i want to, but because my co-workers turn it on.
i see a lot of insult comedy on the family guy. most recently, it was a celebrity who was called a “freak” because he has a big forehead. it sheltered his friend from the rain, it was so big.
to me, this is one of the essential things about the TV: insult comedy. an insult that is at the same time a joke, or tries at least to be funny. as a society, we seem to be permeated by insult comedy. it is satanic. i have nothing but hatred for the satanic elements of the TV set.
as a Christian, i have gotten to the point that the reason i turn on the TV set is to watch Christian TV. it builds you up, does not tear anyone down. it is trinity broadcasting network, out of orange county california.
to me the insult comedy is a kind of cancer that attacks the soul. you don’t need that stuff. it’s bad medicine. it’s poison.
to the extent that the fox network is harsh and barking insults, i try to avoid the fox network. it is a special breed of insanity posing as a television network.
requiem for a dream
October 3rd, 2010i got requiem for a dream– i borrowed it at a 12 step library, a place for people who are interested in the 12 steps and addictions and how those addictions affect the family of the addict. it is a nightmarish film. there is a housewife in brooklyn, an empty nester, now getting old and perhaps a bit senile, who takes pills from her doctor for losing weight. these upper pills ultimately land her in a psychiatric ward, as she is fixated on the idea that she might end up on a TV show. her son is a drug addict and has an infected arm from sticking needles in it. if there is a point to this movie, it is as a warning that things can go bad quickly, as we live in a somewhat insane world. drugs have consequences. whether it’s uppers or heroin or cocaine, drugs have consequences. you have to be a film lover to love this film, because i would guess for most people, the horrors of this movie are too much.
chinatown
October 3rd, 2010it is good once in a while to revisit one’s favorite movies. chinatown is one of my favorite films of all time. of course it reminds me of the great humphrey bogart private detective films. it is meticulously put together and represents a time when money was scarce, FDR was in power, when water was scarce in los angeles, and yet some people managed to get ever-richer. the rich man represents evil in the sense that he thought he could get away with anything because of his riches. an amazing film. i love detective stories because often there is a secret that people don’t want to become public, so the detective himself needs to be a warrior and stay two steps ahead of the various forces that menace him.
everybody is equally welcome
October 3rd, 2010a holy man in buddhism was asked what made him holy, or enlightened. he responded, well, you treat your enemies one way and your friends and family a different way. but i treat everyone the same, with the same awareness and compassion.
it is good to forgive everyone of all they have ever done against you. in the tradition of evangelical Christianity, pray that even your enemies will find happiness in being saved by Jesus Christ and filled with His love.
canaan land ministries, mac gober
October 3rd, 2010the more i research the life and salvation through Jesus of Mac Gober and his wife, founders of Canaan Land Ministries, in alabama, the more i am amazed by God’s grace. grace means a free gift of salvation. salvation can totally transform a life. the young people they take in have their lives transformed as well. God is really working some miracles in texas and alabama. kenneth copeland ministries helps canaan land ministries financially as well. www.canaanland.com. kenneth copeland ministries, their tv show is also one of my favorite shows on TV.
individual salvation, collective salvation
October 3rd, 2010as Christians, as born again Christians, we are saved by Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ is our Savior and the Lord of our Life. for the rest of our life.
having said that, i believe there is also the idea of collective salvation. for example, one of the patriarchs (was it Lot?) argued with God about how many righteous men (tzaddik) would have to be in a city so that the city could be saved. when not even 10 righteous men were in the city, God destroyed the city.
the doors sing, “save our city.” the implication is that the more righteous men there are, the less likely God is to destroy that city or civilization. the question then is, “what is a righteous man?” the answers are found in books on religion, books on Christianity, the Bible, both Old and New Testament, Judaism, kabbalah, etc.
i believe there is also the idea of forgiveness. if we forgive others all of their sins against us, then God will forgive all of our sins.
also, a family can have unforgiveness or foolishness. the answer to that is wisdom. God’s Wisdom, through the Bible and through Jesus Christ as Savior. a family can be saved as well.
always do the right thing.
September 26th, 2010during a strange time of my life, when i was making choices that weren’t very good, i was in line at a store and someone had a conversation with me. this man told me, “always do the right thing.” i asked him who he worked for, and he said, the CIA.
it reminds me of a line from the movie “do the right thing,” in which an older african american man tells spike lee, the main character, “doctor, always do the right thing.”
Jesus said one time, (paraphrased), i know what you will say. doctor, heal thyself. so Jesus, as a healer, saw himself as a soul doctor, bringing both physical and spiritual healing to humanity.
philip k. dick said, when he imagined talking to God (i don’t know if he actually did or just imagined it) he said, we (as in humanity), we are in need of medical attention. God sees himself as the doctor of humanity as well, if you read the old testament in a certain way.
one way you can look at things is as good vs. evil. life vs. death. that which leads to death is illness. and that which leads to life is doing God’s will. reading the Bible is life and health.
i once talked to a professor about philip k. dick. the professor said that in his last few years, he (philip k. dick) had struggles. in order to be a man of God, a man of faith, you first have to believe in the existence of God. it is too bad that society has gone away from belief in God and toward atheist science. people who genuinely believe in God are seen as odd. think about how Noah must have been seen in his day, building an ark, while people around him laughed at him. perhaps philip k. dick was thought of as odd because he genuinely wanted to write about God and understand the universe in terms of God.
i used to watch TV, before i realized that there are some satanic elements to the TV set. TV glorifies sexual hedonism. it is also based on insults and foolishness. but now i watch trinity broadcasting network and i appreciate the Christian elements to TV in that sense.
so what i am saying is that a Christian must be a doctor of sorts. a Christian must heal the world (tikkun) in whatever small way he can. don’t pay attention to the scam movies, the rip off movies, the heist movies, the violent movies, the movies with explosions and guns and sex. America has to be so much more than just a seller of guns, a holder of nuclear weapons, a warrior nation. we have to really think about what America means.
salvation in the Gospel of Thomas
September 26th, 2010one of the things i like most about the Gospel of Thomas is the following (paraphrased): you must bring it forth out of yourself. if you bring it forth out of yourself, it will save you. if you do not bring it forth out of yourself, what you do not bring forth out of yourself will kill you.
in one sense, this perhaps is talking about the Kingdom of Heaven. your kindness and gentleness and love for the other person.
but you can also interpret this as inspiring the creative person to BE creative. you only have one lifetime, as far as we know, and if you are creative, you have to BE creative. use time. if you are a writer, write. if you are a painter, paint. then that will save you. what you brought forth out of yourself will save you.
another interpretation is that this universe is only half done. you have to complete the process by imitating God and being creative and perfecting something that was only half done, imperfect. God created all of us to be like Him, to be creative as He is. so when i watch a good movie, like Chinatown, i am a part of the happiness that comes with being a part of (witnessing) a masterful act of creativity, a film that was made very well.
i genuinely believe all of us are artists, just as roman polanski is an artist. all you have to do is look at your dreams. fiction is truth in an allegorical form. each dream is an allegory. it is a message that God is trying to get to you. but be careful. i once heard that dreams can come either from God or from the devil.
don’t wait until the Muse moves you to write
September 26th, 2010what a friend told me, and i think perhaps this is true, is that, as a writer, it is better not to wait until the Muse moves you to write. rather, set aside some time to write, start writing, and as a struck match contains fire within itself once it starts and gets friction, in the same way the Muse will be with you when you start writing. just set aside some time, and it will come. this is a variation of “if you build it, they will come,” as in the film field of dreams. ”if you set it aside, the Muse will move you with the spirit of what and how you want to write.”
getting a few things done
September 26th, 2010it is the greatest privilege to have some extra time to get a few things done. set goals and achieve goals. do what you feel you need to do. get outside and get a little fresh air, sunshine. you owe it to yourself to get a few things done. write a letter and send it. buy some stamps. buy some envelopes. use the internet. read a book. that’s how unhappiness is kept at bay. get a few things done.
decision making by consensus
September 21st, 2010i am a big fan of the american indian / asian way of decision making by consensus.
the problem with anti-psychiatry if you look at it as a conflict, is that then there are winners and losers. there is an enemy.
it is better to say, “there are solutions we can all agree on.”
ultimately it is a matter of quality of communication. the quality of communication is karma. character is destiny. if you can get Jesus into your heart, your character changes because now you have newness of heart, a new heart in you, the heart of Jesus.
then your communication changes because you no longer have strife in your life. you don’t get into arguments or pick fights. we’re all on the same side. we can make decisions through consensus.
do talk to strangers
September 21st, 2010i think it was while reading the work of susan roane on networking that i really realized that many of us are programmed as children. don’t cross that street! stay home! don’t talk to strangers!
what we need to do as adults is remove that programming and do the opposite. do talk to strangers! do go out and go some where unexpected, somewhere you haven’t been before. networking is the art of making new connections and maintaining and renewing existing connections. learn all you can about networking. you have nothing to be ashamed of, as a Christian, God has forgiven you all of your sins. so now is the time to say, i have something positive to contribute to the world, something good to add to other people. i am no better than anyone else, yet i am also no worse than anyone else.
and read susan roane’s work with an open heart, as well as other books on salesmanship and networking.
the only direction is forward.
September 21st, 2010when you wake up in the morning, you have choices. you can stay in bed all day, or you can get up and confront the challenges of the day. you can solve problems. you can set and achieve goals. you can learn what you need to learn as a Christian and as a human being.
really, the only direction is forward. no retreat, no surrender.
sara paretsky
September 19th, 2010with her v. i. warshawski novels, sara paretsky has given quite a gift to those who love private detective fiction. you also find out something about what it means to live in a city like chicago. when she started out people were telling her that private detective fiction, as a genre, was through. thank God she didn’t listen to those voices of discouragement.
they just have a tough job.
September 19th, 2010when i was a bit more of a fool, i was anti-authority. i was anti-authority in the sense that i tried to get away with a lot of stuff. i’m talking about like when i was in junior high school. i was a fool.
things came to a head when i carried this foolish philosophy to its logical extreme and suffered at the hands of the police. this was many years ago.
later, i told my Dad about my thoughts and he just said, “well, they just have a tough job.” he was referring to the police.
and another thing to keep in mind is that there are written laws (in other words, explicit laws) and implied, or unwritten laws.
the people on the TV show “cops” often are life’s losers, perhaps through no fault of their own. yet they made a series of bad decisions. they thought they could get away with something, then got caught with crack cocaine, or tried to run from the cops.
the police in and of themselves do not have the lasting solution. the lasting solution is Jesus Christ. read your bible. pray. when i pray i pray prostrate, which means i lie down to indicate that God is my master, and that i will do what God wants me to do.
in general, God wants us to respect authority. the exceptions, as far as i’m concerned, are when progress needs to be made, as in the case of segregation being overturned, or voting rights being given to minorities.
so i now have a great deal of respect for police. they’re just doing what they think they need to do. a community has explicit (legally written) and implicit (unwritten) rules for behavior.
they just have a tough job. often they are there to try to bring in line a person who thought he could get away with something.
performance art for the sake of absurdity has its own meaningless fruit, or conclusion, or outcome. i used to study dada and absurdism and performance art, as i tried to do things that made myself laugh.
but one day we will have to account to God everything we have decided upon, courses of action. a fool has nothing good to show for his life. a fool sayeth in his heart, there is no God.
one way to deal with a fool is to lock him up in jail, but that doesn’t effect a change in his heart the way religion does. Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. he that believeth on Jesus, though he die, yet shall he live.
caterpillar sheds his skin to find a butterfly within. –donovan
September 19th, 2010we are all transforming all the time. the transformation from caterpillar to butterfly represents what we will become. God will transform us. it is always a good idea to try to do as much good as you can while you can, because we all have to die one day and give an account to God of our decisions.
God gave us free will, so that we can choose either good (and live) or choose evil (and die.) don’t pay attention to those “philosophers” who start talking about transcending good and evil.
i believe at the beginning of this modern age, God created animals and insects and so on. in previous ages, God had created different kinds of animals. i don’t think evolution is the whole story. evolution may be part of the story, but it is not the whole story. God has infinite intelligence, which is why cat is cat, dog is dog, etc. we all have a place in God’s creation. each of us has a voice in the universal chorus, a voice that is infinitely unique, therefore infinitely valuable. i am not the first person to say that, but i have unfortunately forgotten who first said that idea.
a winner vs. a loser
September 14th, 2010a winner is just a loser that kept trying. you keep losing, but you keep trying, and finally you get what you want. and God will reward the believer and the tither. one study of millionaires found the some of them merely became successful because they did not quit, they worked incredibly hard, and they wanted to prove someone wrong who predicted failure, maybe an in-law, for example. they wanted to prove them wrong by being successful. and they were willing to work every available minute to achieve their goals.
keep on rollin’
September 14th, 2010i like the song by limp bizkit that says, “keep on rollin’ partner, you know what time it is.”
each day has its own challenges. each day has its own problems. each day you have to set goals and achieve what you can.
it is good to sleep, but in some ways sleep is just more problems, more issues, in the form of dreams. one’s life is a series of moments, of problems, of issues that require attention, to be active and not just passive, to actively solve the problems.
keep on rollin’.
some days you win, sometimes you lose, but you just have to keep going. ”hang in there.”
i don’t like to see headlines about suicide. in fact i am trying to get a bumper sticker for my car about a suicide hotline for veterans. suicide is always exactly the wrong decision. it solves nothing. and then there is the burden of what the afterlife would be. there is the burden of other people, impressionable people, who might be influenced by such a horrible decision.
keep on rollin’.
keep on rollin’ until God himself says enough and no more. live from natural conception to natural death. and everything in between is just one more moment, one more problem to solve, one more issue to keep an eye on, to be active and not just passive, to be active in solving problems, to be pro-active in anticipating future problems as well.
though i don’t like some of the story of the life of Nietzsche, i do think my life was transformed by this idea of eternal recurrence. the idea is that one will have to live exactly the same life over and over again an infinite number of times. if that is true, pain is of no consequence as long as you’re living according to your own values. you are the hammer, not the anvil. and that’s what Nietzsche said is always the case: you are either the hammer or the anvil.
a book lover
September 14th, 2010i am not ashamed to say i am a book lover. a friend at one point pointed out to me that it is good to read some fiction every day. so i try to do that. right now i’m in the middle of a raymond chandler novel.
i also believe in studying certain subjects, a kind of self-determined independent path of study. i believe in being an independent learner. don’t be lazy and just watch TV. buy a book and read it from beginning to end.
at one point i complained to my Dad, years ago, that i wasn’t reading. i couldn’t motivate myself to read as much as i should. he told me to read ten or fifteen pages a day. so that’s what i try to do. in different books, i try to read fifteen pages a day, at least, on days when i don’t work usually.
there was a story i heard one time from a preacher about a man who was on death row and he was an independent learner. he was a self-styled law student. he studied law books all day long. the preacher offered to give him a TV set, thinking this would do him a favor. but he turned it down. he knew he was perhaps going to die any day, yet he spent every available moment studying Law.
that’s a good story for me to remember. first, i believe in studying the foundation of how europeans came to the western hemisphere. so i’m reading, for example, about christopher columbus and the conquistadores and explorers from europe and why they came here.
second, i want to know all i can about the foundations of american history, so i read a biography of lincoln and one of george washington. i still have a few books i haven’t begun yet, about thomas jefferson. i want to know the foundations of Law in America. what is the meaning of the constitution and what are the rights we have as individuals? what political philosophers contributed to the idea of inalienable rights, rights individuals have merely by virtue of being a human being?
i do believe there is a direction to history. at one time slavery was considered acceptable in the south. then the slaves were freed. at one time it was considered acceptable to prevent women from voting. and so on. now women can vote.
so……. i would like to consider myself a student. i would like to consider myself a reader of fiction, a history student, a Law student. and then there is the subject of religious books. books that lift my spirit and feed my spirit.
at some point paper books may become rare. so appreciate them while you can. i have not yet bought an e-reader, and am waiting for the right moment. i do have an apple computer and am thankful that it is so superior to pc’s.
so, be a book lover. that is my message to you. if you need to make progress, tell yourself to read 15 pages or 10 pages a day. there is nothing like the feeling of having read an entire book from beginning to end. and if you don’t understand a sentence or a paragraph, go back over it and let it soak in until you understand it.
read the great authors. don’t just read a book by an author you’ve never heard of. although that’s OK too. read books. be a book lover.
letting go of harsh music with sharp edges
September 12th, 2010you have to let go of that harsh music with sharp edges. let go of the cold music. go for the warm music. the music that makes people feel welcome. the loving music. ”what the people need is a way to make them smile. ain’t so hard to do if you know how.” i used to be into that goth music and i have known people who were into the goth lifestyle. people who wore black all the time. that’s the stuff you don’t need. you can outgrow that music quickly and it is better to avoid it if you can. say an infinite YES to life and have a WARM SMILE for the other person. when you have INFINITE HOSPITALITY FOR ALL PEOPLE then you are WILLING TO HELP, ALWAYS.
so what music do i recommend? there is some peter gabriel that i like. i like the doobie brothers. ”i ain’t got no worries cuz i ain’t in no hurry.” chicago has good music. i’m just getting into tom jones. there are at least a few rolling stones songs i really like. of course, the beatles.
the old man
September 12th, 2010when you are saved by Jesus, i believe it happens in some ways at a certain time and at a certain place, so that forever more, for the rest of your life, you are a Christian. the sinful man, the old man, you put off. your past is dead, and the person who followed that foolishness is dead. a fool has no idea of good from evil, and chooses evil. when you become a born again believer in Jesus Christ, it’s like the north pole has appeared and your compass can tell north from south, good from evil. and there is nothing more to forgive, because God has already forgiven and forgotten the old self. yet to follow Jesus is a full time thing. prayer is incredibly important. reading the Bible is incredibly important. and following the thoughts of thought leaders in Christianity is important.
the old foolishness is gone. the fool is dead. a fool does not fear God. a fool does not think God exists. now the name of the seeker of God’s wisdom is “I Seek Wisdom.” no matter how much wisdom you think you have, it is less than one percent of one percent of how much wisdom God has. but we have access to God’s thoughts: we have the Bible to study and memorize.
zizek, objectivism, nietzsche and charitable giving
September 12th, 2010zizek has said that he thinks charitable giving is not the answer. he’s in favor of a Leftist revolution, a big government solution.
my reading of ayn rand is that she is not in favor of giving money or food for free to people. she thinks people should earn their keep. earn their money. earn their food. and i am not in favor of ayn rand for the most part on this issue. i agree, rather, with the old testament view that money given to the poor is lent to the Lord and the Lord will repay what was given.
and then nietzsche has a nearly infinite hatred of Christianity and spends a great deal of time trying to disprove Christianity. you get the feeling with nietzsche that his superman would only care about himself, because of the centrality of the “will to power.”
but there is a great tradition in America of people becoming wealthy then giving away their wealth. carnegie created libraries. gates gives away a huge amount of money and tries to get malaria to disappear.
i believe the best help occurs when the help occurs voluntarily, when there is a change of heart in the giver, when Jesus comes into the heart of the giver. for these reasons i am not in favor of zizek’s views on charitable giving, objectivism’s views on giving, and nietzsche’s believe in transcending good and evil. you cannot transcend good and evil without becoming a monster.
it is not surprising to me, then, that nietzsche went crazy at the end of his life. was it true mental illness? or was it a sexually transmitted disease that caused it? yet every philosophy has a fruit, and the fruit of nietzsche’s philosophy was insanity.
love is the answer. the Bible says “God is Love.”
zizek, politics, and religion
September 12th, 2010the thing i don’t like about zizek is that he seems to be in favor of a revolution. he seems to think that if things were all reconsidered politically, that is the point of life.
so he is anti-nazi, and i agree with him on that. he joked about a picture of stalin that he had up in his apartment. i have seen at least 2 videos with zizek as the main character. i used to be more interested in philosophy, before i started to get into Jesus Christ and salvation and transformation through Christ, and the Bible.
but that’s the problem with the revolutionary Left: it assumes politics is the most basic level. it is not. religion, a personal relationship with Jesus is the most basic level.
then, when your heart is changed, and you start walking with Jesus, your life changes for the better. i am thinking particularly of the story of mac gober, who was a motorcycle outlaw and vietnam vet, who became a Christian. he had a personal transformation based on Jesus Christ’s saving power, and now he is the head of a place called canaan land ministries, where other people can have their lives transformed as well by the love of Jesus Christ.
religion is where it’s at. not politics. the best politics is a politics with freedom of the press, with division of powers, so that one person or one branch does not become too powerful and thus corrupted.
zizek being in favor of communism is interesting because he admits that the Left will invent new forms of existence, since it collapsed in the former soviet union. but i don’t think Left/Right has much meaning anymore. politics, according to Hegel, will continue through the dialectic until the perfect city is brought into existence.
but if God does something, the devil cannot undo it. if the Son make you free, you shall be free indeed –Jesus. When you start walking by faith, God opens doors for you.
Christianity needs to exist. if the meaning of Jesus Christ’s words and his existence and his death and resurrection is to have meaning, Christianity needs to exist. so perhaps religious differences are the struggle of the 21st century.
because there are terrorists, who, if they could, would kill every single American.
it simply means there is a struggle between Christendom and Islam to some extent. between democracy and tyranny.
democracy and Christianity. that is what i believe in. and hold the leaders accountable if there is corruption. division of powers and separation of powers and freedom of the press, freedom to meet, freedom to gather.
i am in general not in favor of blowing up terrorists through missile attacks. it is always better to win hearts and minds by showing the love of Jesus Christ and the superiority of democracy as a way of being.
simple speech, creativity, the Quakers, inspired by the Muse
September 12th, 2010on the one hand, people who are creative need to be creative. a writer needs to write. period. find something to write about, and then write.
on the other hand, some people have promoted a view that says that a good writer needs to get up and write hundreds of words every single day, every single morning. and then eventually you’ll write something worthy of being published.
the thing is, i have studied the Quakers, and i believe in saying no more than necessary. yet sometimes that is a lot of words. speak the truth, and speak the truth in love, but speak the truth. sometimes the Muse inspires you to speak out on a subject. and where would America be without people speaking out on subjects they care about? there could still be slavery in the south. etc.
so i believe in simple speech. i also believe in speaking one’s mind, speaking one’s peace. sometimes i go more toward one, sometimes more toward the other. but when the Muse inspires, then the writer has to write.
a few thoughts about a 20 year high school reunion: i was at a bar, and met a number of people i had known all those years ago. i was there for an hour or two or three. but there came a time when i felt that i had to leave. people were downing shots of whiskey. people were talking. and the Quaker in me was saying, enough talking. enough alcohol being consumed by people.
so i left.
i tried my best to welcome everyone there, and to get to know how they had done in life. but someone once told me there is something bittersweet about a reunion. people have gotten older, and some people have died, God rest their souls.
and people are not always happy. you wonder what it is exactly they want in life. but you do your duty. being a welcoming host to all. everyone is my guest. treat everyone as a treasured guest. i am not better than, nor am i worse than, anyone else. but i have something positive to offer the world.
and so these cliques that existed all those years ago, are no more. people are just people. and they deserve a warm smile and friendly questions, since they went to the trouble to travel there.
the big realization i had a few years ago is that life is all about service. about giving. about being Jesus for the other person. about humility. about solving other people’s problems.
and when you keep that in mind, these labels and cliques of long ago exist no more.
i am reminded of the end of the movie “heathers” where winona ryder makes the unpopular girl feel welcome by inviting her to see a movie and have some popcorn. christian slater’s character had wanted to blow up the high school. this is the same kind of insanity that existed in columbine in colorado, people shooting other people.
so what is the answer? Jesus Christ. simplify your life until you focus like a laser on the message of the Gospel. Jesus saves. Jesus can save you. life is about helping other people. we are here to do the work of Jesus.
fox and disney
September 12th, 2010fox (news corp) seems to be rather harsh in many different ways. and that is simply a reflection of the views at the top, a certain brand of harsh conservatism.
hearst was the same way. so this kind of thing has a history in the history of america. hearst tried to influence the course of foreign policy and warfare and domestic politics in america.
i saw an episode of the family guy where it kept putting down disney.
now i have to admit that i invest in disney. i have a small amount of money invested in disney stock.
but the whole thing appeared rather harsh and based on insult comedy. i have seen insult comedy also on NBC, on saturday night live, and it bothers me. insult comedy seems to be based on the lowest form of humor. it’s based on “i’m better than you, and i will prove it.”
one of the jokes was that disney stock keeps going down. that hasn’t been my experience.
so you start to wonder how much of this is supposed to be funny, and how much is simply a competitive hatred between two major media companies, with viewers as pawns?
now i will at least mention a few things that i like about disney: they made a film called miracle, about the hockey team from america that defeated the soviet team at the olympics in 1980. it is my favorite film. that film is, for me, a film about what it means to love america. what it means to be patriotic. and also what it means to live life to the full. to fully engage in the game of life in a maximal way. to live up to your potential.
also, though i have never seen it, i have heard many good things about high school musical. people really loved it, and the following movies.
disney makes movies that have heart. and God bless them.
people have described disneyworld as the happiest place in america. whether or not that is true is another question. but i have been there once, and perhaps that is enough for one lifetime. still, you have to give credit where it is due. it’s a strange place, perhaps a cool place, and it is an experience.
christianity vs. communism
September 5th, 2010both christianity and communism promise to help the helpless. feed the hungry. bring equality.
but communism redistributes wealth at the point of a gun.
christianity makes a more permanent change by inviting people to be transformed by God to do good works. now i am not saying that good works brings about salvation. because salvation comes by grace, not good works, lest any man should boast. –paul. but we are created unto good works, once we are saved, we want to do good works, we want to give extra money to good charities and christian ministries that are working to bring about a transformation in people’s lives.
so i agree with some of the ideals of communism. shoe the shoeless. feed the hungry. bring about more equality. but i don’t agree with the torturing of people, with the betrayal of other people, with the totalitarianism that existed under the soviet union. but in truth i am a Christian and i will give what i can to help people who need help.
someone once put it in terms of power vs. strength. the soviet union was powerful, while it lasted. but it could not last forever, because it was based on totalitarianism and torture and fear. someone once said power grows at the barrel of a gun. but that is not strength. true strength comes from God, from doing the right thing. democracy is strong. rule by the people is strong.
chicago
September 5th, 2010chicago’s music. what can i say…. does anybody really know what time it is? does anybody really care? so i can’t imagine why. don’t have time enough to die. don’t have time enough to cry. saturday in the park. think it was the fourth of july. selling ice cream, a man singing italian songs. that’s what i love about the music of chicago: it makes the listener feel welcome, it makes an american feel proud of america, as an inclusive society where anyone is welcome. instead of always worrying about hurrying around, it invites you to take some time to do what you love. don’t wear a watch if it is going to tempt you to see what time it is dozens of times a day. it doesn’t matter what time it is. go by a more natural feeling and understanding of what time it is. judge time in a more natural way. morning, noon, afternoon, by the sun in the sky, by the sunshine. twilight, evening, night. time to go to bed.
i know what it’s like to be made to feel unwelcome. i have been to a public park, only to have the police show up and imply that i am not welcome there. i used to believe it was legal and possible to play frisbee golf every month of the year, even in winter. i used to throw a frisbee even when there was snow on the ground. well, in a small conservative community i guess this is not permitted.
then there is the presence of the police in a local public library. i understand that there are rules for people to follow. but when the police show up or escort people out of the library, i know how they can offer comments that make me feel unwelcome even in a public place. in a public place everyone should be made to feel welcome. i guess this is part of the price that you pay to live in a small conservative community.
and that is how america seems to deal with its down and out population: lock them up. or keep them homeless. anything but help them get a place to live, a job, for some dignity.
the girl with the dragon tattoo
August 19th, 2010gradually, i became aware that more and more of the people around me love this series of books, starting with the girl with the dragon tattoo. i saw the swedish version of the first movie, and i love the story, i love the characters. lisbeth, as a survivor, a warrior, will not be forgotten. she is a survivor, though she trusts few people and is emotionally scarred by events in the past. and because she is a survivor, a warrior, she is a very admirable character. the actual plot of the movie has to do with a wealthy industrial family, some of whom are serial killers. but leaving aside the plot, the characters themselves are what i will remember and what will perhaps drive me to read the books. one of the ideas in the story is that those who commit violence against women will themselves reap what they sow. they will die a horrible death or somehow get revenge taken against them. all in all, it was one of the best films i’ve seen this year, though the plot was dark.
how many numbers are there?
July 13th, 2010the question: how many numbers are there?
it depends on your perspective.
according to one perspective, there are an infinite number of numbers. in potential space.
but if you take an orange and cut it in two, you have taken one thing and made from it a total of two things.
anything that exists does not exist independently of everything else. we are all part of one thing.
we are all one thing. we are all one human being. the orange came from the orange vine,
which ultimately came from a seed, which came from another orange.
that’s the way it is and the way it has always been.
someone once said, apples do not come from oranges, nor do oranges come from apples.
but infinite Intelligence (God) designed oranges to be refreshing, delicious.
but ultimately we are all part of one thing.
even so, reality pushes you. you have to push back. you have to prove what you’re made out of.
you have to show your true colors and your courage.
doctor who and the simpsons
July 7th, 2010i don’t like the simpsons, in general, though there were some good episodes i’ve seen.
one time i was watching the simpsons and it happened to mention a deal of a hundred tacos for a hundred dollars, and a kid, a nerdy kid, was going to watch a doctor who marathon. ”this should get me through the marathon,” he said.
the implication was that it was dorky to watch doctor who, that it was nerdy, and that it was laughable.
i carried that with me, unconsciously, and one time a friend of a friend brought up doctor who and i scorned it and laughed at the series, then this friend of a friend stood up for the show. then i realized i had been influenced by the simpsons.
so simply because the simpsons are on fox, and fox is run by a conservative, an arch conservative, i think you have to be careful with the simpsons. at the least, it is a waste of time. then you also have to be aware of how it is influencing your thinking, as it did mine, with doctor who.
doctor who is one of the best shows i have ever seen. it tells the truth in the form of stories. the british have stood against the nazis, in world war 2, and yet there are hierarchies in british society that show up, for example, in the idea of time lords having almost magickal powers. so i am an anglophile. i love all things british. and i will not so easily be influenced again by the tv set, by watching a show on the fox network. be careful of the fox network.
ursula le guin, a wizard of earthsea
July 4th, 2010i had an amazing time reading a wizard of earthsea by ursula le guin. i was surprised i hadn’t read it before. it is a poem in the form of a story, all of the language is poetic and not one word is misplaced or too many. i am now on the 3rd book in the series, following the adventures of Ged, also known as Sparrowhawk, the wizard who became archmage in the world of earthsea. i can truly say this is in the top 5 percent of all the books i have ever read, maybe the top 2 percent.
infinite traction in the present moment, you have the initiative
July 4th, 2010when i buy shoes, everyday tennis shoes, i buy cross training shoes, and i buy them through mail order. so they arrive. they’re usually black and white in color. i buy through new balance.
what that reminds me of is the traction that must exist if we are to keep moving. traction needs to exist with tires in your car if you are going to be able to stop quickly, in an emergency. remember the word “traction.” the proverbs 31 wife considers a field and buys it. she provides everything that is needed for her household. a wife like that is worth more than rubies. the word “tract” can also refer to a “tract” of land. that implies that those who gain wealth often do so by buying land. crops grow. rent is paid.
you have the initiative. when you are talking with someone, make bold to speak your mind if you could acquire the help of someone else. i like that phrase, “make bold.” you are not the inferior of anyone. nor are you by nature superior to anyone. yet it requires time and space, it requires a universe, matter and energy, to allow you to prove that you are made of gold, that you are worth your weight in gold, that proves your worth, your generosity, your hospitality, your providing what is needed to the other.
if the other person has a negative view of you, just tell yourself, they don’t really know who i am. gold will out. the value of who you are will come out through your actions. you have not even begun. Jesus, in the Gospel of Thomas, says, you must bring it forth out of yourself. if you bring it forth, it will save you. if you do not bring it forth, what you do not bring forth will kill you.
when you start following Jesus, you are also following the Kingdom of Heaven. you must make heaven on earth. or die trying.
the thing, one of the things, that gives me the most satisfaction in life, is the idea that i could give without expecting anything in return. God will reward the just and God will punish the wicked. read Proverbs daily. read the 91st Psalm. read Ecclesiastes.
if you see yourself as a generous person, be generous. it is a good virtue to have. if you want to be helpful, be helpful. helping others is why we’re here on earth.
hardball, by sara paretsky
June 20th, 2010the novel “hardball” by sara paretsky is yet another great v. i. warshawski novel. it involves chicago politics, national security politics, and the cover up of the murder of a civil rights worker 40 years ago. as a private eye warshawski doesn’t hesitate to take on the most powerful opponents, and when a nun is killed, right in front of her, you know she will not stop until the evil-doers are brought to justice. when i was young i read mysteries written for young people, the alfred hitchcock three, hardee boys, and so on. i am coming to realize that i am no different essentially as an adult—- we all want the evil-doers to be brought to justice, deep down, and that’s the essence of a great private detective—- she will not be bought off, nor will she be intimidated into backing down. so of all the fictional characters i have encountered in books, v. i. warshawski is one whose courage and integrity i can say i truly admire.
the most important things in life aren’t things
June 17th, 2010people who have people in their life are the wealthy ones, poor though they may be financially. people who have people are the happy ones. “you said he travels fastest who travels alone but with me you can turn every mountain into a stepping stone.” –country music lyrics
to honor a memory
June 10th, 2010a memory: my Mom confronted me one time in the late 1990’s. about that time, i wasn’t reading books. i was tired out from my job, and in the back of my mind reading books was associated with a sense of obligation, as i had recently completed a major in philosophy, which included a lot of reading, a lot of study, a lot of writing, and reading books was not always the most pleasant thing in the world to me.
my Mom confronted me: are you reading books? she said, you used to read books. she was referring to who i was back in grade school, junior high, and high school, when i had loved reading books.
i can’t remember much of how i responded to my Mom’s accusation that i was not staying true to my own ideals. i think i laughed it off and said it would be OK. i was a fool in those days.
but now that i’m in my late thirties, i know that time is precious. spend time reading. love books. each good book has a story to tell. spend time in that story, and don’t rush past a sentence without completely understanding it. even a long novel can be read without difficulty if you take your time. drop by drop, water becomes the ocean.
so to honor the memory of my Mom, i will be a reader the rest of my life. i will read fiction. i love books and i always will. and don’t get me started on electronic books. they will never fully replace the experience of reading with paper and ink. and once a sale is made, it is final. it’s not like the novel 1984, which when sold on an electronic book format, it was then cancelled after it was sold for some people. and that is perhaps the threat of electronic books: what if there is no electricity in the future? what if the centralized government decides to take it upon themselves to control who gets what books? what if the seller decides to cancel the purchased electronic book after the sale is made? then there is the cost of batteries and electricity. then there is the overall experience of holding a computer in your hands, which is not as good as holding a book.
maximum bob, by elmore leonard
June 10th, 2010the name of the novel, maximum bob, refers to a judge who always gives the maximum sentence to criminals. it is a book full of characters that you will not soon forget. elmore leonard seems to be an expert on filling a book with low life criminals and people always bending, twisting the truth to serve their own ends. it is also a book full of laughs, as you can imagine people actually thinking the way these people think. it centers on a county worker who has to check up on a family of repeat offenders, and their stupidity and criminality drives the plot. i was turned on to elmore leonard because my father was a big fan of his work, and i will always remember my father talking about elmore leonard’s grasp of the mind of the common criminal. yet it also has elements of a mystery, as there are plots to kill people, as the good guys try to prevent this from happening. all in all, maximum bob is one of the best books i’ve read in a while. there are crack whores, people going to prison for hard time, and young courageous cops and heroes that fill the pages. it all has to do with the tragic comedy that is human nature.
reading fiction
June 10th, 2010a friend confronted me one time, are you reading any fiction, he said… i wasn’t at the time. so now i always try to be reading at least one novel or book of short stories. someone once said that fiction is not true, therefore it is based on lies, therefore it comes from the devil. i would argue just the opposite: fiction is “more true than truth” “more real than real” and thus, we are benefitted in many ways from reading a good book.
how i got over self consciousness (or trying to anyway)
June 3rd, 2010first of all, the TV set is a lot of negative stuff. it is the night. so don’t be watching david letterman, etc. nothing good can come from it. on a day when you have worked, you can blow off some steam laughing at jimmy fallon or whatever. but in general you won’t get a lot of good ideas from the TV set, rather, it will be negative stuff. kind of like looking in a mirror that is entirely negative and shows you the worst parts of humanity and yourself.
if you have something to say, say it. i really enjoy having this blog. i don’t know who exactly reads this blog, if anyone, but it’s a fun thing anyway, to think that anyone in the world could be reading this blog for free.
to have something to say is a gift. say something about life as you experience it. write from experience. write what you know.
it is a gift to understand the wisdom of getting over superiority/inferiority. some people go to high school and get laughed and excluded to the point that they feel they have to do the same thing to other people. but it’s based on a lack of love, based on ignorance of the truth. the truth is that when God made each one of us, he put infinite value into each of us. so no one can tell me i’m not worth anything. i’m worth everything, and so are all of us. each voice in the universal chorus is infinitely unique, therefore infinitely valuable (and i’m not the first person to say that, i’m quoting someone else, whose name i have forgotten, unfortunately. but it is not original to me.)
sometimes a person strikes me as having this attitude: you’re nothing special, but then, i’m not either, so don’t think of yourself as anything special. you’re not better than me in any way, in fact, you’re worse than me, and i can laugh at you or put you down.
what that attitude comes from is ignorance: the other person simply does not understand you. in not understanding comes fear, and so the fear is covered up by a joke that is suppressed, but still present.
what i have learned, and this is a huge realization: i have the infinite freedom to make up my own mind on any subject, to do anything. i don’t have to ask permission first, some of the time. i don’t have to ask for advice first. i can do things on my own initiative. i can set my own goals. i can do what i need to do to live life on my own terms.
and that, simply put, is part of adulthood.
but the main point is this: be willing to give without thought of return. extend hospitality. give food and drink. help other people. help other people in any way, shape, or form. and don’t ask for anything in return. that is a mark of generosity that is part of being a good person.
and in doing good for other people, in imagining a society where everyone’s needs are met, through generosity, then all of this so called self consciousness and embarrassment and psychological sadism from high school has fallen through the floor back to hell where it disappears forever. it came from hell and it goes back to the dust, the nothingness from which it came. you don’t need self consciousness. who cares if people laugh at you? you can still be a good person. you can still be a generous person. you can still help other people when they need help and ask for nothing in return.
recently i heard about a girl from ireland who had gotten involved in a romantic relationship with a guy, and this was all i think in high school, and then she was bullied. she was taunted as an “irish slut.” it was non-stop. it was psychological sadism. finally she committed suicide.
the people who follow the devil are those who are following psychological sadism. will God forgive them if they are not repentant?
so……. be careful about the TV set as well. you’ll find a lot of psychological sadism on there too, a lot of bad ideas. i don’t watch david letterman anymore. the evening news (local news) is rather boring usually. so watch a bit here and there, but don’t get into the mind set of the TV set. it’s consumerism and popularity and put downs and exclusion and money worship.
you need Jesus Christ. people who despair apparently did not know Jesus as their Lord and Savior. don’t be among those who despair. there is always hope. a hope for a better society where everyone’s needs are met. in a star trek episode, (the original series) captain kirk says there will be a man who says, to say “how can i help?” is even more important than “i love you.”
take care of the needy, and keep quiet about it, and God will see your generosity, and God will give you the desires of your heart. ”a gift made in secret pacifies wrath.”
learn the art of conversation and asking open questions. first ask a closed question (yes or no or answered in a few words) and then ask an open question (one that delves more deeply by remaining open ended.) buy books about the art of conversation. love people. love and remain true to the people in your family. there is a special magick between a man and a woman, in which the man must be the active part.
you love other people without asking for anything in return, and give and give and give, and God will notice you and approve of your character and hook you up with people who will help you meet your own needs.
no one is a nerd, no one is popular. not anymore. maybe in high school that was true. but not anymore. now we’re all in the same boat, and we all want one thing: the good of all.
sometimes all you can give is a smile, but that too is of infinite value. be a smiler. be friendly to other people. the catty people are condemned by their own cattiness to be catty. maybe one day they too will be givers without thought of return. in that case, you are ahead of them and showing them the way.
being content with living a simple life
May 30th, 2010there is a sense in which the police are there in order to protect community standards. they call themselves “law enforcement” yet even if there is no law being broken, if community standards of propriety are not being met, there will be conflict of one sort or another. in this sense they are “morals police.” especially in a small town.
to be a writer is to speak out. to speak out on matters of conscience. to speak truth to power. it is a privilege to be a writer, but also a responsibility, to speak the truth.
an ever-growing percentage of the u. s. population is being put behind bars, in prisons, in jails, in other treatment facilities. prisons and for profit prisons are a growth industry.
so…….. we can speak out against “the system” but the best defense is simply to be simple. to watch a movie from time to time. to avoid illegal drugs. to avoid getting drunk. be straight-edge. no alcohol, no drugs. be a Stoic. be a simpleton, from the perspective of those in power. be a warrior too, but be willing to die in the defense of your lord. be a samurai.
it’s the people handling millions of dollars who later get in trouble and go to prison when they break some law or other. they let their greed and ignorance get in the way.
it’s the ordinary people who do the ordinary labor. it is a privilege to be common, more of a privilege than you will ever know.
the cops are angry. they’re angry because that’s the way the system is built up: put people behind bars. 5 years or whatever for having some marijuana. they are being used by the system as well, but they are alongside the prison guards and the bankers, etc.
i’m not saying i’m in favor of revolution. i’m saying for the time being, there is something to be said for being simple. stay in one place. eat simple food. someone once told me, God only promises bread. he does not promise a gourmet meal 3 times a day.
people end up in prison. why? probably the obvious reason is that they committed a crime. but there’s a deeper reason: they thought they could get away with something. and that’s what the cops hate most of all. the idea that one is “special” and that one can get away with something.
as a totalitarian system becomes more complex, it needs enemies. when a country becomes increasingly totalitarian, it must look to its own population for enemies, and thus the prisons contain more and more people, as a percentage of the population.
yet when people get out of prison, they get back in with the same crowd, doing the same things, and then they end up back in prison again.
my solution: be simple. accept when you are given, and ask no more. like John the Baptist said, be content with your wages. exact no more than is your due. be a Stoic. study stoicism.
if the system makes you homeless, then accept being homeless for the time being, until they give you a place in this society. if the system gives you not much more than minimum wage, then accept that and be polite, smile, and be gracious.
most of all, don’t get angry at the cops. they deal with dangerous individuals, so they have to be tough, but they are also put into a strange position by society, being the enforcers of community morals, a kind of morals police. their position is to lock dangerous or troublesome people up first, then determine later whether or not there was a crime that justified locking that person up. they have to be tough, because they have a tough job, so be polite to them and be simple as well. the king will always have an official executioner.
the TV set is to be avoided at night time. it has humor that is horrible, and tends to have a kind of thought level that is disgusting. the good stories of course are cop stories, as cops tend to be the ones as main characters of those dramas lately. in fact it’s hard to get away from cops on TV.
when it’s dark outside, it should be dark inside as well. when it’s light outside, you should be up and at ‘em.
work during the day, sleep at night. eat when hungry, be polite and gracious, and generous. never make things more complicated than they need to be.
the main point: be content with a simple life. time itself does not exist, it only appears to exist. do your best at work, and pay your bills, and be content.
there are those who say something has two sides. the thought criminal is on the other side, the side of “enemy.” he is different, so people think he is the “enemy.” perhaps my crime, though, is that i see myself as not having any enemies. it is a moebius strip. there is only one side. we are all on the same side. if people think in terms of “good guys” and “bad guys” they are mistaken. it is merely the illusion of the 5 senses. in reality, we are all on the same side.
study Christian Science. study that in relation to the five senses. there are those who would make “justice” into a matter of “revenge.” the five senses are illusion. Christian Science has a higher truth, a transformative truth.
edge of darkness
May 30th, 2010mel gibson stars in edge of darkness as a police detective whose daughter is gunned down. the entire movie is mel gibson’s attempt to bring justice to the evil-doers, a quest that involves corrupt cops, illegal corporate schemes, radiation poisoning, and so on. mel is the guy whose daughter meant so much to him that he’s willing even to sacrifice his own life in the attempt to bring the bad guys to justice. all in all, i really enjoyed this movie. mel represents that within us that will never bow down to corruption and evil, even if it means sacrificing one’s own career, even one’s own life. though the movie was “dark,” it was because it needed to be. you gotta be tough to make it through this life, and mel is a tough guy but one who will never sacrifice his principles.
the story of stuff video
May 30th, 2010http://www.storyofstuff.com/
the above is a link to a great video about how americans buy, consume, throw away stuff and the toxic effects this has on the environment as mountains are blown up for mining purposes, as trees are cut down, and as people are forced into working in horrible conditions at factories.
the name of the rose (novel)
May 29th, 2010i’ve been reading the name of the rose. an amazing book, one of the best i’ve ever read. it’s about a monk in the middle ages who works essentially as a detective when people are murdered in the monastery. it’s a novel about heresy, about orthodoxy, and everything in between. i am happy to finally be reading this novel—- i kept it for a long time because i think a long time ago i tried to start reading it, but now i’m ready for it. a lot of theology, and some deep philosophy of life, of the importance of libraries, and books, is in this book. this is a book lover’s book.
a shirker (of work) is brother to a waster
May 23rd, 2010the last time i was in a hospital i was given a bible to read, and these words were underlined from the proverbs: a shirker is brother to a waster. and then i realized if you have a mission to accomplish in life, it may well take you 24 hours in a day, in other words, all the time when you’re not sleeping, you should be working on doing what it is that God wants you to do. we all have missions to accomplish in life, and finishing things. it is OK even to finish reading a novel, because that too will impact who you are, as a person, your values and your memories and your answer to the question of “what it means to be a human being.” a good TV show is also a good thing. i like cold case files. a good movie is good too. but beware the risk of wanting entertainment 24/7. you should allow some time for reflecting on life, for thoughtfulness, for taking thought about what is really important in life, what your deepest values should be.
i’ve been listening to bob marley
May 23rd, 2010songs i’ve been listening to by bob marley: jamming, and three little birds. i find the music peaceful and reassuring. he did not hide his belief in God. he also did not hide the fact that he believed everything would be all right. wars might come, the end of the world might come, but at the end of it all is salvation through the Lord.
basics of financial planning
May 23rd, 2010the most basic rule of financial planning is based on a color: red or black. either you are in the red or you are in the black, in terms of money coming in and money going out. the bottom line: are you gaining (saving and investing) money every month, or are you spending more than is coming in?
that’s why i believe the first stage of financial planning, of having a budget, is just observing. having an observational budget. observe money that goes in and going out of your bank account. what is necessary spending? what is not necessary? can you save, for example, 80 dollars a month? then there is insurance and taxes, putting money aside for that. then there is one’s retirement account(s).
so the basic fact is this: there is no big secret to saving and investing money. other than put money aside, save money, invest money in good companies, formulating your policies about investing, creating your own rules for investing, then doing it steadily for 20 or more years in down markets and up. better to be a long term investor if you can be. better to invest in many good companies, rather than just one or a few.
when you’re starting out, get together money for an emergency fund, which would supply your financial needs for 6 to 12 months of, for example, unemployment. then work on retirement fund contributions, and then investments and accounts that give interest and dividends.
the feeling of having gotten something accomplished
May 23rd, 2010the reason i like FDR’s new deal program, one of the reasons, is that people did things themselves. they put hard work into, for example, making a bridge or making a building out of solid rocks put together. there is a restaurant here in moorhead (i live in a city right next to moorhead minnesota)—- there is a restaurant whose rocky exterior was built by a new deal work program, back in the days when despair gripped the land, when the great depression existed and no end of it was in sight. better to give the people something to do, and something to feel proud of. there is a line from the Tao Te Ching which says that the wise man does something, then the people say, “we did it ourselves!” in other words, the wise man never takes credit for what is done, rather, he makes other people, the average people, feel the pride of having done it themselves.
so on days when i work, i spend a lot of time at work.
on days when i don’t work, i try to get a few things accomplished. i try to get some supplies from the grocery store or target. i try to get 45 pages read of the book that i’m currently reading. i try to watch an episode of the rockford files. that’s a large part of the meaning of life: the feeling, at the end of the day, that you didn’t leave anything on the table. that you played the game of life, and played your heart out. (lines taken from my favorite movie, miracle.)
soap, detergent, dishwashing liquid, and processes, computer programming
May 23rd, 2010in a computer program it might say, if the variable is above, let’s say, 10, then do this.
sequence, selection, repetition.
the elements of a computer program.
in real life, you might say, wash the clothes when the sock supply gets down to 2 or 3 days left.
then wash the clothes. in the washing machine and dryer.
it is a good feeling when one finally gets down to washing those clothes. procrastination has been conquered. it’s now or never.
i’ve known people who don’t wash their dishes. the dishes sit in the sink for months on end. the coca cola sits in the fridge until it literally goes bad.
my point: if you live alone, you have to have rules. rules for how long something sits in the fridge. rules for how long to go before washing dishes, washing clothes.
i wash dishes by hand. there was a Zen master who said, what a miracle! i wash the dishes. i get to know each dish.
that’s really being in the present moment and accepting the infinite gift of the present moment, whatever it brings you. whether it brings you a million dollars or mud on your shoes.
always have some extra. have some extra. have some extra dishwashing detergent. soap. clothes detergent. live in a state of abundance.
then remember those who don’t have enough, the hungry people of the world. and give some money to help them. instead of always spending money on yourself, on plastic stuff, on DVDs, etc. some luxury is fine, some DVDs are fine, but too much is too much. you will have to rely on your wisdom to know when “enough is enough.” and to help those who need help. give to a food bank, a homeless shelter.
when i was young, i was told by one of my parents in no uncertain terms that washing clothes had to be done in a certain way. now that i am an adult, i realize that i have to control my own way of doing things, i have to create my own constitution of how i’m going to live my life, and those old rules don’t apply anymore, if they ever did in the first place. i am on my own, and must create my own rules.
at the same time, you want to be able to transcend your rules when need be. be like the woman in prince’s song, who went “in through the out door.” she wore a “raspberry beret.” don’t just be imprisoned by a set of rules whose original purpose has been forgotten. it’s now or never, baby.
a rule for investing- invest in what you know
May 23rd, 2010instead of investing in something you have no clue on, invest in what you know. invest in companies that make things that you use on a regular or daily basis. if you use soap made by colgate palmolive, then invest in colgate palmolive. if you use detergent made by proctor and gamble, invest in that company. people are people, and people are going to need soap. sometimes the best investments over the long run are the most ordinary ones.
at the same time, look for what stands out to you. if local kids are singing gleefully the songs of a movie by disney, then maybe disney is one of the best investments that will come along in your lifetime. disney makes movies that people love.
in some ways i am a long term investor. but in general i don’t say that i’m a long term or a short term investor, i just invest as long as my intuition tell me to.
d j shadow, six days
May 23rd, 2010six days, by d j shadow, is a song with a great martial arts music video, a song about people going to war. ”you never thought we’d go to war, after all the things we saw, it’s april fool’s day.” it’s a song about the foolish desire to go to war for its own sake. and yet the Bible tells us there is a time for peace and a time for war. (ecclesiastes). there is a just war doctrine in the catholic church, seemingly implying that it is OK with God for us to go to war sometimes. and yet i’ve done a lot of study of the Quakers, and their peaceable nature, their pacifism, and i truly admire the Quakers for not going to war in any way shape or form. six days is one of my favorite songs, and i return to it from time to time to think about how war could destroy the world, if we let those demons free to run our affairs.
unkle, bloodstain
May 23rd, 2010bloodstain by unkle is a song that deserves some attention. when i first heard the song, i thought it was about suicidal thoughts. then i thought, no, it’s about an assassin whose way of life is so extreme that she works extremely hard, and plays extremely hard. there are sexual elements to the song too, which seems to suggest that it is not about suicide. then the obvious finally hit me: (with some help from you tube comments) that the song is about heroin addiction. it is trip hop, and i am a big fan of trip hop, though it’s kind of cold music, and needs to warm up, yet in the telling of truth, it does not compromise.
the facebook internet
May 20th, 2010lately when i go to, for example, the CNN web site, i see that friends on facebook are recommending articles. when i first saw this, i was surprised and a little taken aback. then i thought, this is the beginning of the collaborative internet experience, seeing things with friends, a social internet experience. facebook is a networking tool, a way to meet people, and keep track of friends. so if this is the future of the internet, it’s OK with me. having said that, i don’t think i want a chat room on every web site with facebook friends trying to get me to do something. the internet is opening up, and becoming more collaborative. and that’s great. in a sense, facebook will swallow the internet and provide a framework for interpreting lines of ideas, and groupings of people, to some extent.
the idealism of the original star trek
May 18th, 2010in the universe of the original star trek, there was no money.
there still were things like captain rank, as captain kirk was the captain of the starship enterprise, but he didn’t apparently get paid anything for being captain.
food was created, presumably taking a molecule or an atom from here and putting it there.
presumably clothing was created the same way.
my main point: the original star trek universe was a very idealistic universe. food was provided for the hungry. meaning for the hopeless. clothing for the naked. education for the young. apparently humanity had grown up, solved its own problems, and now was out exploring the universe.
at a certain point, the world lost its idealism. the soviet union fell. now we have a system of command and control, like on some science fiction shows that are essentially extensions of the u. s. military. a somewhat less idealistic future.
in a world where everything has a price, only the word “soviet” perhaps does not have a price attached to it. the word, and what it means. i am a radical person. i believe materialism is the same as spirituality, so i study Christianity as much as i can.
i study the Quakers. i study the Stoics. i study Zen. i study martial arts and samurai literature. just as the buddhists have said form equals formlessness, i believe spirituality and materialism are not opposed to each other. they are both the same.
thus, if humanity has problems, it is better to give freely than it is to be coerced into giving to those in need. i am not a capitalist and i am not a communist of the old type. i believe in giving. i believe in what John the Baptist said. let those with extra food/clothing/money give to those who have none.
at the same time, i cannot deny the dialectic. politics will go on between two extremes. the “soviet” is not yet dead, as a word, as a concept. zizek also talks about socialism. but the early Christians held their possessions in common, and were they socialists? at the very least, they did not torture their dissidents, as the soviet union did. the fire that Jesus lit is still burning.
val kilmer, and here comes your 19th nervous breakdown
May 18th, 2010i have a respect for val kilmer that is hard to describe. he himself is a Christian Scientist, and he seems to have a self-satisfied grin on his face, as if he’s two steps ahead of everyone else and has started getting some clues as to what this universe is all about, what God is all about.
in the movie he made about the planet mars, he’s walking along on mars, and has a companion, and maybe they’re ship wrecked, i can’t remember the plot line, but there they are, walking along, and val kilmer starts singing, “here comes your 19th nervous breakdown. sing it with me.” so he wants to teach his companion the words and the song from the rolling stones.
when i first heard 19th nervous breakdown i thought there might be something satanic in it, as if they’re laughing at someone who is having a mental breakdown.
but the song itself is not from the viewpoint of the person having the breakdown. it is from presumably a family member’s perspective. ”who’s to blame,” they sing. ”the girl’s gone insane.”
“nothing i do don’t seem to work, it only seems to make the matter worse.”
the humor of the song is this: the family itself is in a pattern, and the person having the nervous breakdown is only the outward sign of the problems in the family as a whole, as a system. so the main character, in deflecting blame, is continuing the situation, and thus, we have 19 nervous breakdowns occurring in the life of one girl.
so, yes, it is a story worth telling, in the form of a song. and centuries from now, i hope there will be people on other planets who hold the rolling stones in high regard, as i do. and i like val kilmer’s calm exterior, that no matter what problems arise around him, he is the ice man, he is the calming influence, the one who gets his companion to sing along.
getting back to the blame aspect, in the song—- in one sense, the family as a whole is to blame, and yet are they really to blame? isn’t each person responsible for their own actions? so the family member is saying not even the girl is responsible for her own actions, and thus we have the quagmire of madness.
is the family as a whole responsible? is just the individual responsible? is society responsible? there have been those who say we live in a sick society, so here and there there is sanity bubbling up, but those who are truly sane appear to be having a mental breakdown to others, as they achieve a deeper and wider framework and system of seeing the world.
to buy a new set of glasses
May 17th, 2010hospitality is an ancient tradition and instinct, to provide what is needed to guests. so, remembering that i had mainly only plastic cups, i decided to get some actual glasses made of glass. i went to target, got some glasses with the beatles on the side of them. they are sturdy, they will probably last for a while, but they are also worth something for their own sake, as collectibles that also can be used. and that is the beauty of target: you can always get more glasses if these break. but i was thinking, what if people visit, and i only have plastic glasses to offer, if we’re having cake and milk or whatever. or what if, one day, i have people to take care of, a longer term friend or roommate or someone special… or children? the glasses, too, are a reminder to take to heart those lyrics of the beatles that are particularly meaningful to you. dear prudence, why don’t you come out to play? when you find yourself in the thick of it, help yourself to a bit of what is all around you, silly girl. (martha my dear, and before that, dear prudence.) the white album is interesting to me. so….. collect what you need to collect. buy what you need to buy. target will always have more, as long as capitalism makes what is needed. like the chip maker says, “eat what you want, we’ll make more.”
having said that, it depends on how much life you can let into your life. do you live in a small apartment? then how do you expect to add a wife and children? —-if you can’t afford more. there are those who make a virtue of necessity. they make these little houses and little places to live, and then get publicity on how simple their lifestyle is. God bless them, but that’s not me. give me a big house, lots of rooms, a big family, if that is God’s will. lots of money. i don’t want what everyone else has. i want more. i want good quality. good quality glasses. heavy glasses. glasses that won’t break in the sink. money in the bank. food to eat. i want to provide hospitality to lots of people, just as my Dad provided hospitality to his own children, without complaining. he was a big soul, God bless him, and i want to be as well. i just have to take things one step at a time, and not take things personally if someone else doesn’t see things my way. ”with nothing to lose, and everything to gain.” just move on to the next opportunity. never take rejection personally. you’re a salesman, and you’re selling large life. dream large. take a deep breath. take what is given, and ask for more. keep your promises, and be true as true blue.
the founder of pokemon
May 13th, 2010i’ve been doing some research on the founder of pokemon, Satoshi Tajiri-Oniwa. he did exactly what he wanted to do, playing video games, collecting insects, and then he came up with the idea for pokemon. he was an otaku, a person who did not fit in, a person kind of lost in his own world, but then with his ideas, with his game, he became very successful. the point is: you have to do what you have to do, between you and you.
jesse stone: thin ice
May 10th, 2010jesse stone: thin ice follows two plot lines, one involving a kidnapped child, and the other involving jesse bringing a shooter to justice. all in all, a good cop movie, which tries to be a little darker than the previous jesse stone film i saw. despite what you might think of a low budget cop film, it’s worth the money to rent it, if you’re into action films. tom selleck is a tough police chief with a heart of gold.
“i’m sorry He had to die for us.”
May 9th, 2010this is a memory of my Mom. she was standing in the front hallway, and she had a sorrowful face. she said to me, “Chris, i’m sorry that He had to die for us.” at the time, i was a fool, probably doing the will of the devil here and there, probably looking at pornography like a fool for the devil in my spare time. but there she was, and there was Jesus on the cross, and i just said to my Mom, “don’t worry about it.” but if i could speak to her now, i would say: ”here i am. i am a Christian. thank you for being my Mother even though i was foolish much of the time. thanks for continuing to speak Truth to me, as Jesus said He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. he that believeth on Jesus, though he die, yet shall he live. a man must be born again. i believe i am born again, and it was because my Mom had faith in Jesus.”
remembering my Mom and Dad
May 9th, 2010a remembrance of my Mom and Dad: despite their problems, and we all have problems, the bottom line was that they always loved each other and us children. Dad put all of us seven children through college, paying our expenses. any bills that came up, my Dad paid without complaining. they were wise, they were Christian, and they made a home and raised seven children, and we are all good people, as Mom would say from time to time. wherever my Mom was, there was Love, and whenever my Dad spoke, there was Wisdom.
listening and learning about the tithe, brother kenneth copeland
May 9th, 2010i’m doing some study of the tithe and the importance of tithing, a study from kenneth copeland ministries. www.kcm.org i am a partner in this ministry.
i agree with the idea that tithing should be put into the vows of a marriage, for a believing Christian. it is that important.
i believe, with kenneth copeland, that tithing was before the Law was. so if Jesus came to complete the Law, even so, Jesus is our High Priest as described in the book of Hebrews in the new testament. tithing is our responsibility to give to God, through our High Priest, Jesus.
being 100 percent honest
May 9th, 2010i think being completely honest is a good thing. it helps the situation. to those who preach 100 percent forgiveness i would say this: if someone’s boot is at your throat, it’s hard to say i forgive you. it’s hard to forgive people for things that are on-going. it’s worth more to people if you are 100 percent honest. see the book radical honesty by brad blanton. what’s more, if a leader pretends not to be a leader, it is not a form of humility. a leader must lead, if only because he sees farther than others, and can see what is to be advantageous for the group, what new allies are to be won over for the group’s well being.
he who shirks his work
May 9th, 2010he who is a shirker is brother to a waster.
proverbs.
first you must really understand what your work is. then you must do it, starting from first principles. to waste time is to waste the most precious thing, to leave undone what should be done.
short story fragment 5/9/2010: dream warrior
May 9th, 2010there was a man who was an intelligence agent. he was a spy. he believed that there are an infinite number of intelligence agencies, some of which are imaginary, some are real.
in the dream world, he thought, that’s where some of the intelligence agencies exist. some exist both in dream and waking (real) world, and some just in the real world. it depends on if you dream about a particular company. some companies exist both in the dream and the waking (real) world.
he got a clue one time. there are some companies, including some insurance companies, all of which have names that begin with the letters “DI” and all of which are owned by the same intelligence agency, if you go back far enough in terms of who makes the decisions and who controls the money. the intelligence agency owns these companies.
and so he was not surprised to learn that the CIA was getting into the business of starting companies. entrepreneurship. good for them. he hoped they would succeed and make a stronger society.
one time he looked up “temporary autonomous zone” and got to a web page that said, “hello kitty” and included material about how to join the CIA, or how to join forces with the CIA.
the people who are in control, he learned, are driven by such a need to control everything that they explored both dream and waking (real) world and have systems in place to stay in power.
one time the spell was broken for one brief moment and he actually contacted God. his mind was flooded by images of egyptian hierglyphics and he saw the Eye of Ra. the next day it turned out there was a power outage across part of the country.
there are three major cities: new york, chicago, and los angeles. he had been invited a number of times to each of these, yet he stayed in one place, making sure that God had provision for him. he had faith, he had faith that Jesus was the only begotten Son of God, and that we are, through Christ, brothers and sisters of Him and sons and daughters of God and friends of Jesus, but he needed to work on his faith. a man of great faith can do great things.
there was a conflict. east coast/west coast. he first heard about it in minneapolis, by two men talking, and as soon as it was said, it was as if too much had already been said. they clammed up, and tried to mind their own business. this was, at a certain moment, not a country united, but a country divided.
he wanted to explore chicago, new york city, hollywood. but he thought maybe he was destined to live and die in a small town. he needed to work on his faith, and what he really thought about himself, what he believed about his character, and to know the unity between action and belief. to build his faith, and to rely upon God. someone once told him, if you can make it in seattle, you might be able to make it in a city like chicago. and yet he hadn’t made it in seattle. he had been unable to find a company that would hire him when he was there.
he realized that life is war. you must be a warrior to travel. the poetic edda, havamal, says, to travel widely a man must keep his wits about him. the simple will do at home. life is war, but it was his heresy that “we’re all on the same side.” he believed in non-violence. and yet if he did, then why did he have dreams about being a warrior? it must be his destiny. the bhagavad gita describes a man who was destined to go to war, in this case even against his own relatives. but it was his duty to follow his destiny. it was his destiny, but he still had to choose it.
he genuinely believed in the Bible. he liked to read ecclesiastes. he liked the proverbs. he liked psalm 91.
he said to himself, if i’m going to be a warrior, let me be a warrior for God. let us win the peace, and let it be a peace that we can all agree on, a win/win for everyone.
nevertheless, the desire for profit, for money, drove the big companies to create addictive and destructive drugs. and so he knew his enemies. they were the ones making billions of dollars off the poor, by enslaving and addicting them. this was called “psychiatry.” he was in favor of a new kind of “psychiatry,” one that is all-natural and non-coercive.
the old kind of toothpaste, the artificial kind, always made him vomit, or at least gag. the new kind of toothpaste, all natural, didn’t do that at all. he was greatly heartened by this. tom’s of maine. he thought, if we can do this for toothpaste, why can’t we do it for psychiatry? why can’t we make products that are all-natural, like the shamans of old, and why can’t we have processes that are non-coercive?
now they’re coming out with a new DSM, the bible of psychiatry. a DSM 5. the ultimate goal, of course, is to put everyone on earth under the spell of psychiatric drugs, to label everyone, and to concentrate control of the population in just a few areas. why else would the mission be to ever increase the number and scope of labels for people? it is a form of totalitarianism, like a cancer, that keeps growing and has its sights set on complete control. i’m not talking about 5 or 10 years from now. i’m talking long term. maybe 50 or 100 years or more, maybe even 500 years from now. power wants to increase itself. power and money go hand in hand.
there are those who have “sold out” to the psychiatric powers that be, and then there are those who are willing to “oppose” totalitarianism, but he was of a third group. a group that says, “we are all on the same side.” he used to say quite often, “there is a war within psychiatry. a war among the shrinks.” he was opposed to the group that might call itself behaviorists, the kind that says that human beings are just a black box with an input and an output, and that to change the output, you have to change the input to whatever necessary in order to control the behavior. it was this group he called “control freaks.”
and yet he had experience with insomnia lasting as long as seven days. then he took the stuff that made him sleep. why so long insomnia? it was the sins of humanity which he had seen, that he had never confessed to anyone. so in the back of his mind he kept the saying memorized, which says, “if you want to go all natural, then go with peter gabriel.” in one song by peter gabriel, he talks about confessing things to “the priest, he’s the doctor, he can handle the shocks.” in other words, it is OK to confess anything at all in the world to a good priest, and he will say that you are forgiven by God, and he will keep it a secret, yet he will show God’s infinite mercy and forgiveness. ”if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness.”
was he afraid of going to hell, of dying, of going to hell to be separated from God forever and ever? he believed he deserved such a fate. david says he was born of sin. so it appeared to him that those who speak of “original sin” know what they’re talking about. we are all born to sin, in sin, and all we do is sin, almost all we do. so we deserve hell forever. but that’s why Jesus came to earth to be executed in our stead, and to be resurrected, and to go to heaven to sit at the right hand of the Father. he will come again to judge the living and the dead. there is nothing done in secret that will not be shouted on the rooftops. he read the Bible, he believed that. justice may take some time, but the gears of Justice always take effect. God’s Justice is perfect and relentless. at the same time, God’s Mercy is infinite, and these two balance against each other.
the kabbalists believe every action we take can either create a universe or destroy a universe. if you pass by someone who is in need, and don’t help them, God could destroy the universe right then and there. that’s why i love kabbalists and i love Jews who kept the traditions alive through many persecutions.
if he was a warrior, what was all this with corporations and how they are perceived? couldn’t he be a spiritual warrior, like an angel, like the angel Michael, and help people in that way, in a spiritual way? yet he believed that the toothpaste issue was a key issue: it was all natural, didn’t make him vomit, didn’t pollute the environment, the water supply, and thus was infinitely superior to the artificial toothpaste. maybe we could do that for all products.
he did not hate the psychiatrists. it wasn’t their fault that they were indoctrinated to use many artificial chemicals to control people. but he did want to create soteria houses in some states. to do so would require money. soteria houses were places where no one would be forcibly drugged or tied up or forcibly electroshocked.
whenever he talked about wanting to get millions of dollars, his relatives always insisted that that was not the type of person they saw him as. they would say, “but you’re a philosopher. you’re into religion and psychology. how can you say you want millions of dollars? how can you say you want to study accounting and business? you would be a fish out of water in those things. that’s not for you.”
but he knew the power that money had. his own church was millions of dollars in debt. he knew, if he had millions of dollars, he would give it to the church. ”no one had better tell me that money is nothing,” he thought. ”or that money is evil.” ”it is the **love** of money that is evil. but money itself can be used either for good or for evil,” he thought.
even if Jesus were here, he thought, maybe Jesus would be OK with me wanting to have a lot of money, if i had a good reason for wanting it. such as to become a good father, and a good husband, and to give money to my church and to charities.
he thought about arguing with his relatives about the value of money. but then he realized that arguing never solves anything, never resolves anything, because it would be as if he were asking permission to study those subjects. ”i don’t have to ask their permission,” he thought to himself. ”i just have to **do it**.” besides, he thought, his relatives may have other reasons for trying to prevent him from getting a lot of money, or to prevent him from leaving psychiatry.
of course, when you can’t go backward, you might as well get deeper into it, so he studied psychiatry as much as he could. he had taken a class in counseling and had heard about, and studied a bit of, for example, transactional analysis. games people play. that was some interesting stuff. and non-directive therapy. versus directive therapy.
it actually hurt him a little bit, in his insides, when he heard certain of his relatives when they said they were atheist or that the question of God’s existence didn’t matter to them. they wanted to live the good life, and God bless them, but there was an emptiness there too, an emptiness kind of like meeting at a restaurant and being bombarded by tales of las vegas, and nothing else was discussed. is that a family? not once did i even open my mouth, he thought. what a bunch of fools.
and yet if they were fools, they had been first led by a fool, his father, who loved las vegas himself, loved gambling, and was tormented by various things. God rest his soul, he thought. yet the truth should be told.
no more calling relatives, he thought. he had thought it a cure for loneliness, to call relatives, and yet, the real reason for living must come from within, from one’s relationship with God. he had made enough phone calls. now he needed to pray to God and receive guidance from Him.
no one is a “loser.”
May 9th, 2010i think in america we have to get over this idea that one team wins, one team loses. we need other kinds of games than that. some people are “winners” and some people are said to be “losers.” some people have billions of dollars, while other people are homeless. this “win/lose” dyad governs a great deal of life in america. republicans, in my view, don’t do themselves any favors when they constantly talk about reducing taxes for those who are already rich. and yet there are people whose lives are destroyed because they are homeless, have no money for healthcare, etc. and then there is the national debt. we need to get rid of this national obsession with “winners” and “losers.” no one is winner except those who persisted, after being called a “loser.” you just have to persist, day by day, month by month. if you have to end up in court or end up in a homeless shelter, that doesn’t mean you are a “loser.” it seems rather childish to say that billionaires deserve their wealth, while homeless people deserve to be homeless. listen to the music of luscious jackson. they are not afraid to speak out on the subject of the homeless, of people not caring for other people, for people “trying to make a dollar. makes me want to scream, makes me want to holler. ” you don’t want to be the person whose heart grew cold, or whose heart shrank to the point that it was 3 sizes too small, like the grinch.
mantras can be in any language
May 9th, 2010i heard once from a friend that he thought the best mantras are in sanskrit. but as for me, i believe mantras, or affirmations, can be in any language, including english. they can be guides, and as they guide your behavior day by day, they become more powerful as they are obeyed, if they include a promise to oneself or to God.
ernest holmes, religious science
May 9th, 2010i’ve been reading ernest holmes. good stuff. good affirmations about living in abundance, religious science, being positive and loving. it is good to read affirmations and treat oneself. it makes a difference. also, pray to God, Mary, the saints, one’s guardian angel, etc. ask them to pray to God for you. affirmations and prayers. good stuff. these affirmations are found in science of the mind (science of mind), a big book written by ernest holmes, which i value highly.
you are not primarily a “consumer.”
May 9th, 2010that’s the problem with modern economics. it assumes that the best way to define people is as “consumers.” that implies that the meaning of life, the purpose of life, is just to go out and buy something. thus, we are bombarded by millions of advertisements as everyone wants to sell you something. but what about God? God doesn’t see all of us as “consumers.” we are sons and daughters of God. we have spiritual duties, and spiritual privileges. read the Bible. read the letters of John. he says, love other people. he was the disciple who Jesus loved. he says, if we cannot love the people we can see, how can we say we love the Heavenly Father (God) who we can’t see? the early Christians lived in a kind of commune, with their possessions held in common. could we do something like that now? we need to provide for everyone’s needs. at the same time, i’m in favor of freedom. there was no freedom in the soviet union. you did what you were told to do. dissidents were tortured to death. so i’m not in favor of that kind of communism. i read a book by p. j. o’rourke, about adam smith. i am in favor of the hidden hand. i am in favor of capitalism. you do your work, you get paid, you can decide what to do with your money. the problem is foolish ways to spend money, vs. wise ways to spend money. spirituality is more important than economics as it is currently defined. share your wealth. give to charity.
treating each person as infinitely important
May 9th, 2010one time when i was growing up, my Dad introduced me to a colleague and we sat down in his office. my dad had gone to his office, and this guy and i were alone. i didn’t feel like talking, so after saying a few things i just said i had to go, and i got up and left.
soon thereafter, my Dad shouted at me, at home, “you have to be **gracious**.” the Bible says, correct your son, for he will not die by the correction. my Dad was a Christian and he did not hesitate to point it out if i did something wrong, God bless his soul.
be gracious.
by that he meant, i have to be polite, engage in small talk, talk to the other person as if the other person is infinitely important, and engage in conversation like a normal person, take an interest in the other person, and say a few things about oneself, letting the conversation go naturally wherever it goes.
graciousness is like an oil, which, by the prophet, was multiplied and paid for itself many times over when, like Jesus, the prophet multiplied it. christian science also talks about an oil that consists, in my view, of graciousness, kindness, a smiling attitude, etc. it is a kind of win/win attitude. everyone’s a winner. this is not about cut-throat competition, of win/lose. this is win/win.
another time i was with a woman in a restaurant. she and i had been the first to show up at the restaurant. later a man showed up. this woman said, “we’ve been waiting a **long** time.” the man grinned and i saw a flash of recognition between the two of them, as if to say, Chris is not a good conversationalist.
i had not been **gracious**. i had not made the other person feel welcome and i had not extended hospitality to the other person. maybe it had been rooted in my fear of being laughed at by the other patrons in the restaurant, my shyness, and so i clammed up, not talking much, just enduring the experience patiently. but that was the wrong thing to do. i should have been **gracious.** i had made the woman feel too much the passage of time, during which i did not speak to her, during which i apparently had been lost in my own thoughts.
i tell these stories because the meaning of life, as i see it, is to **give**. you are not giving if you just sit there silently and don’t add anything. it makes it seem like you’re carrying a grudge, and yet you’re not communicating what that grudge is, so it’s not fair to the other person. it makes it seem like you have a chip on your shoulder. GIVE. don’t just receive. CREATE a welcoming atmosphere. BE hospitable. i believe in “infinite hospitality for all people.” this is not a left wing or a right wing type of thing. this is not a political position. i am not a communist. the communists in russia would torture their own dissidents. i am a Christian.
what is salvation?
May 8th, 2010when you are saved by Jesus, it is a good response, a normal response, to say, well, what exactly **is** salvation? then you should get Christian books that inform you about a new life in Christ, Christian music to listen to, and guidance in where in the Bible you should be studying. if you find watching TV shows that are Christian is helpful, do that. i think particularly of believer’s voice of victory, the kenneth copeland ministries TV show. then you can also follow some church services on the internet. i like champions centre in tacoma washington. i follow that pastor’s sermons. you might also think about tithing, giving 10 percent of your income, to church. or charities.
i once was in a taxi with a Muslim who had memorized the entire Koran. Christians, too, should think seriously about memorizing key parts of the Old and New Testament.
the slippery slope
May 8th, 2010with gateway illegal drugs, that are softer, often they lead to harder, more destructive, more addictive drugs. the same is true of pornography. the soft pornography leads to harder and harder porn. it leads to deeper and deeper levels of satanism. there is an answer. Jesus Christ is the answer. ultimately pornography has no power. Jesus has the power to transform your life and make you as new. the old man is gone, and behold, all things are made new in Christ Jesus. when you have been saved by Jesus Christ, you are a new creation, a new creature in Christ.
stereolab, cobra and phases group play voltage in the milky night
May 8th, 2010the cobra album by stereolab remains one of my favorite albums. it has an idealism to it. a youthfulness. and a feeling of being in love with life.
long black train by josh turner
May 7th, 2010long black train is a Christian song about damnation vs. salvation. it was one of the first songs that made me really think about Christian music and its relation to what we do every day. in other words, is salvation just an intellectual thing? no. it’s about your whole life, your actions on a day to day basis. i’m not necessarily saying that we are “justified by works” either, but once you are a Christian, you are expected to live a Christian life. repentance is a part of it.
amy grant and other christian musicians
May 7th, 2010there is a time and a place for christian music, in the life of a christian. the music implies that there is a personal caring relationship between believer and Jesus/God. i like amy grant, steven curtis chapman, paul baloche, and twila paris lately. the implication as well is that God is in control, even while it seems things are getting worse. God is in control. i believe even the early Christians had hymns that they sang to affirm the basic beliefs.
smile
May 7th, 2010smile. make eye contact. i used to see this sign on the highway as i went in to work. it simply said, “smile.” at first i was a little upset. who are they to tell me to smile? i thought.
then i realized: they’re not telling me why to smile. they’re just telling me, find a good reason to smile.
it is possible to go through life with a blank face, a worried face. it is better to smile. it makes the other person feel at ease. smile in the market place. smile at the library. smile in the restaurant. otherwise people don’t feel at ease, and people think there is something terribly wrong. though it might be shyness that tends to make you not smile, the way other people interpret it is: there is something wrong with them. it will make the person who is depressed that much more depressed, if you don’t smile. it will make the person who is suicidal that much more suicidal, if you don’t smile. it will increase the space between the groups of people, the races, between individuals, if you don’t smile. we don’t want to live in a society where we are all infinitely separated from each other. people are just people. no need to be afraid of average people.
so, network. meet new people. meet people of the type that you are interested in. smile at the waitress. it’s a tough job, being a waitress. be polite, but be sincere as well. one zen master said, when you say good morning, really mean it. there was a zen master who, when others were happy, he was happy as well, and when others were sad, he was sad as well. don’t be lost in your own world and ignore the other person, whether that is deliberate or not. PAY ATTENTION. we are all equal in the eyes of God.
is there any way to reconcile these two views of who God is?
May 6th, 2010i don’t think there is any way to reconcile these two views of God: in the old testament, God says things like, kill all of the enemy, down to the last child. then in the new testament we have Jesus, who talks about God as a loving Father.
i tried to read “the shack” and i couldn’t finish it. it seemed too pat, as if it were saying, here is what is undoubtedly true about God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. it doesn’t leave room for individual interpretation of what the Bible says.
land of the lost
May 6th, 2010when i was growing up, land of the lost was amazing to me. a science fiction show, done by sid and marty krofft, on the surface for children, but in fact, not just for children, with episodes written by some science fiction heavyweights. it really opened my eyes to what the imagination can do when let loose, even with a limited budget for a TV show. some of the most interesting villains in the show were the sleestaks, walking lizards who menaced the main characters. even now, when i read about lizard men occupying tunnels deep inside the earth (the internet is full of rumors like that, and the nazi base in antarctica, and the men in black) i think about the sleestaks.
mysterious cities of gold
May 6th, 2010mysterious cities of gold was a TV series, cartoon, that was on when i was growing up. since it was on while i was at school, i had to set the timer on the VCR, which was a rather complicated procedure. i finally got rid of that VCR when i realized that to push any button other than “play” would cause it to “eat” the tape itself, which would get wound around the gears. at any rate, mysterious cities of gold was one of my favorite shows, as it had to do with ancient civilizations now almost forgotten, ancient technologies, and the conquistadors with their lust for gold. my sister used to make fun of me for taping this show, but i am not ashamed to say i loved this show.
up in the air
May 4th, 2010up in the air follows george clooney’s journeys across america as he essentially lives in airports and hotels, while doing his job, which is firing people for major corporations. his boss, listening to a young recruit, becomes convinced that saving money by firing people over the internet, teleconferencing, would be the best idea. soon george clooney is shepherding this young female worker, showing her the ropes of how to let people go. at the same time, he’s falling in love with a different woman who is also a corporate road warrior. but in his isolated lifestyle where love means nothing, can this relationship itself have any meaning? all in all, this is a great film, because george clooney has to realize just how empty his philosophy of life is, as he lives isolated from other people, while he does make some realizations that life is all about helping other people. at the end of the film, he still is living a rather isolated life, but you as the viewer have hope that he has seen through the worthlessness of his philosophy. i enjoyed most of all the human element of the film, the good acting, the dry humor. i enjoyed the film more than i thought i would. this is a timely film, with all of the people out of work because of this economy, and it makes you think about the value of treating people gently and with respect, giving them hope for the future, especially at the worst of times.
the copelands, rhema, full gospel, word of faith
May 3rd, 2010i’m getting into the preaching of the copelands, kenneth and gloria, and the tradition of kenneth hagin, rhema, all of which is related, if you go back far enough, to the full gospel movement. the idea is that God loves us as Christians, as sons of God, as joint-heirs with Christ, and that therefore, we can experience provision. God supplies our needs. there are specific Bible verses that go along with this, and it’s interesting and draws me in. creflo dollar likes to say that Jesus (the Word, the Word-seed) has to be planted in the soil (the heart) and thus it provides an overflow harvest. so study your Bible. study the Word of God. study the Words of Jesus. let that get into the soil of your heart. i study both old testament and new testament, and i am, in my book collection, most proud of and get the most use out of the books that touch on spiritual things, Christianity, seed time and harvest, and so on.
freedom requires responsibility
May 2nd, 2010in the u.s. there is freedom. you can go where you want, for the most part, on the internet. you can be what you want to be.
but this must be tempered with the quality of responsibility. we must listen to our conscience. yes, there is freedom, but that doesn’t mean that we’re animals and that we can just act as animals act. we are human beings. we are a step above the animals, and a step below the angels.
people who believe in evolution would have you believe that we are nothing but mutated monkeys. the Bible, however, says that we have free will and that God created us, that God created you and me, that God knew exactly how we were going to be before we were in our mother’s womb, and that God loves us as much as he loved Jesus. when people spread evolution, just be careful that you’re not just trashing thousands of years of tradition and setting the stage for the corruption that will bring down civilization itself.
freedom, yes. we have freedom because it is enshrined in our founding documents and in our system of Law. but we also need infinite responsibility. we have freedom to be what we want to be. but we must have spiritual responsibility, and that comes from studying religion and taking into oneself the moral code that is so essential to it. study the religious tradition of your choice, but study it well, because the devil runs around like a lion on the loose, seeking whom he will devour, and the devil was a liar and a murderer from the beginning. the thief comes not but to steal, to kill, and to destroy. what you need is not more theories of evolution. you need God as much as you need oxygen and food and water.
i particularly speak to those people who believe that love and sex are nothing but an experience, just like any other experience. you see them on the internet with pornography. we need to regain whatever conscience we lost, as a nation. we need a spiritual awakening.
deus ex machina
May 2nd, 2010sometimes to move the plot of a play along the gods (the forces outside of the play of life) introduce something into the plot, something unexpected.
in old plays, in the old days, it might have been something found or something dropped into the stage. the main point is that the gods (or God) cannot always allow things to go along as they have been going. eventually change happens. it is up to you to do the best with what you have. the twists and turns of life: are they pre-destined? or is it all free will? is it chance? at any rate, what matters is to behave honorably and make the best of the situation.
deus ex machina literally means “god of the machine.” if we find out, for example, that our life is nothing other than a play written by the Author (God) then perhaps only a certain amount of boredom and routine can be tolerated before something happens to change the plotline.
all natural, ginger ale, toothpaste
May 2nd, 2010i am not ashamed to say that i like things that are “all natural.” ginger ale. toothpaste. tom’s of maine toothpaste. canada dry.
there was a time when an authority figure told me that my desire for things that are “all natural” was a sign of insanity. yet now, “natural” is something that is prominent in a lot of packaging of goods. ”all natural.” nothing artificial.
i remember reading that the Amish are still as fertile as they have ever been, whereas the typical american is getting less fertile. it’s the junk we put into the environment, the pollutants, the artificial stuff.
now we read about plastic over vast areas of ocean. it breaks down, but doesn’t really break all the way down, and attracts poisons, then gets into the food chain and the fish have high levels of, for example, mercury. are we insane, as a species, that we pollute our own home??? of course, now we have the oil spill in the gulf of mexico, which will wipe out a lot of wildlife and species.
i am not ashamed to say i am in favor of a psychiatry that would be all-natural, non-coercive. that’s why i support the soteria house model of dealing with people who have “problems in living.” instead of saying “mental illness” which supports the so called chemical imbalance theory and supposed need for drugs, maybe we should just say people who have “problems in living.”
when self education becomes a privilege
May 1st, 2010in school, we are forced to read books. you read the book, maybe you write a paper on it. your time is not your own. you cherish your free moments, as they are not spent in education or doing homework, etc.
but once you graduate from school, you have to become a student all over again—- even when there is no obvious motivation for gain. you gain from self education, from reading books, simply because you become more aware, for example, of american history. my Dad, before he died, was reading a book about english history. then he also read a book about alexander hamilton. to read books is a privilege that is so great that it is almost unbelievable. through the vast majority of human existence, we did not make books. so to be living in a time when books are available, is a great privilege. you enjoy yourself, and you enrich your mind, you feed your soul as well, when reading books. read plays. read shakespeare. study the plays intensely. you will only gain from the experience. if all the world’s a stage, we are all actors, and we must say our lines with heart and soul, as much as we can muster.
special victims unit, cops on TV
May 1st, 2010as a society we have apparently said it is OK to put an ever-increasing percentage of the population behind bars, in prisons, lockups of various kinds. in some areas for profit prisons are a growth industry.
on TV, we are constantly confronted with police as they solve their crimes. as they seek Justice, i recall many times seeing two police officers constantly hounding and badgering a person, seeing through the suspect’s lies and confronting him with the facts of the case.
special victims unit is for crimes that are especially heinous, sexual crimes, etc.
my main point i am trying to get across on this subject is this: it wasn’t always this way. we didn’t always have the police on the TV set, hounding people and locking people up and, in the process, saying that it’s OK to hate people.
as a society we to some extent are falling apart, and yes, there are criminals and gangs and mafia out there that are out for their own profit, to harm people, etc. and yes, we need Justice because people who do crimes should be brought to Justice.
having said that, i don’t like the idea that the TV has, that it is OK to hate in the process. this infinite hatred is coming through the TV set like ant poison poisoning a whole group of ants. we don’t need the infinite hatred. cops, do your job, but you don’t have to have infinite hatred in the process, and we don’t have to see that on TV all the time.
tears for fears
April 30th, 2010i like to listen on youtube to tears for fears, advice for the young at heart, woman in chains, and sowing the seeds of love. i think it’s fair to say that if i lose my conscience, tears for fears comes close to being a conscience for me. they talk about love and freedom in their lyrics. their music in some ways is perfect in the love and risk/vulnerability of living life from the heart. one time i saw a leftist on TV and he said, “i say this and no one has been able to contradict me: that the heart is on the left side of the body, so too the Left has more heart. the heart is on the left.”
looking for meaning, logotherapy
April 30th, 2010logotherapy is essentially a therapeutic philosophy that says that we look for meaning in life, and that the desire for meaning is so great that it justifies the pain that one goes through seeking meaning. He who has a why can bear almost any how. nietzsche.
logotherapy was started by viktor frankl as he found a way to survive in the harshest environment: a concentration camp.
so i think i would like to work with people one on one, and give advice, which people in my family are good at. i would like to be a counselor who helps people find meaning in life. after all, a total lack of meaning might imply suicidal actions. i am totally and completely against suicide. we are all caterpillars who are becoming butterflies. ”caterpillar sheds his skin to find the butterfly within.” donovan.
at first i wanted to become a pastor. what is the problem with religion as such? sometimes the problem is speaking without listening. giving advice when a warm listener is what is needed. not everyone agrees on religion. but people generally do agree that people should be given respect. and that’s what counseling is all about. i could add a word “Christian” and say that i want to become a “Christian counselor” but even that, i have some trouble with, so i’m not sure at this point.
supertramp, long way home
April 29th, 2010good song. supertramp, long way home. it reminds me that life is what happens when you allow for the unexpected. don’t just go straight from point a to point b. explore. make small talk. look at galleries. get membership and mix and mingle. of course, that’s one interpretation of the song. a more accurate interpretation is this: don’t always do what the other person expects you to. don’t always submit, or you will be treated as a piece of furniture. there is a point in the song which implies that going up on stage feels unbelievably great. is the main character, then, an actor? a writer? a poet? a public performer? a comedian? an artist? it seems the main character went through an identity crisis, a mid life crisis, and now his wife thinks he is crazy. but he’s going after his dream, and more power to him, i say. and of course that is you and me. we are all artists, and we have something good to say.
lies and illusions
April 29th, 2010in lies and illusions, christian slater plays a writer whose books on love ironically focus on honesty between men and women in relationships—- yet why does his fiance have a room full of high tech guns and spy equipment? why do her former co-workers insist that she has stolen diamonds? why does she disappear only to appear a year later? the movie, in and of itself, is entertaining and hopefully will contribute to the rebirth of the career of christian slater. there are two women after his affections, and each either has secrets or a hidden agenda. watch this movie for entertainment—- there’s not much there, but it’s well done low budget action.
the man who stole your borders—- steely dan lyrics
April 26th, 2010whenever i think of schizophrenia, i think about the lyrics of steely dan in the song “do it again.” ”the man who stole your borders.” one person once said paranoia is “loss of ego boundaries.” so when the inside is the outside (“as above, so below, as within, so without) and the battle rages and i can’t get to sleep, then i try to let the battle disappear into sleep itself. ”you know, it’s like what i told you, you have to get right with the Man Upstairs.” sometimes sincere, deep prayer to God is exactly what is needed. i like to say we’re all on the same side. i agree that decisions can be made by consensus, as they do in american indian tribes traditionally, and in japanese and chinese management. i think these labels, manic depression, bipolar, schizophrenia—- these labels are a problem. some people have problems in living, that’s all, but that doesn’t mean because they’re not perfect that they shouldn’t exist. that’s the problem with the eugenics movement—- eugenics starts by assuming the race can be perfected. but i say we find perfection in imperfection.
the right motivation
April 25th, 2010in the song “gloria” by u2, the lyrics go, o Lord, if i had anything, i would give it to you.
that’s a sentiment that i agree with. we are born with nothing and with nothing do we die, we can’t take a single penny to the afterlife.
so, we also learn that the love of money is the root of all evil.
having said that, i think it’s OK to want a lot of money, if your motivation is correct. for example, if you desire to give money to a church, or charity, it’s all right to “dream large.”
of course, the means and the end must be honorable. you can’t be cheating people out of their hard earned money and expect God to approve. you can earn 2 million dollars profit if your business gives, let’s say, 10 million dollars in value to the public, and 8 million goes toward other expenses. of course, taxes are another subject that needs to be figured in.
it is good to do things that feed you spiritually. my art work feeds me as i paint the sayings of Jesus and the 10 commandments from the old testament. i also paint goals and mottos and affirmations. if you can get money too for your passion such as art work, so much the better. your “shop” is where you set up your production, where you make something unique, whether it’s something to sell or something just to keep and treasure.
rent
April 24th, 2010i started watching rent with a lot of skepticism. i had read reviews in magazines that had complained that rent was basically one long complaint about how expensive it was to keep an apartment in new york city, how high the rent was. i guess those magazines were, for whatever reason, trying to get people not to watch the film. what i found was a great story of a group of people, a family, so to speak, of artists and performers and film makers and musicians who loved each other, through good times and bad. great film.
authority, 1984, the alan parsons project
April 24th, 2010listening to eye in the sky by the alan parsons project reminds me of certain ideas: the idea that authority could conceivably read your mind, is interesting. is it God? or is it merely a man-made authority? the question of the song is this: is this a relationship between a man and a woman that is being discussed? or could there be an interpretation of the song that allows for the main character, the eye in the sky, to represent God himself or authority itself? i like the line, “i am the maker of rules, dealing with fools. i can read your mind. i can cheat you blind.” whatever kind of God is being discussed here, he does not suffer fools gladly. Jesus talks about an infinitely merciful God, one you can always turn to. ”the merciful shall be shown mercy.” but lurking always in the background is the idea that there is a God, an infinitely just God, whose justice and judgment are completed when your life is judged. theologians differ on some of these points. for example, if Jesus took all my sins, does that mean i don’t get judged on the Day of Judgment? i still believe in an infinitely merciful God, but also an infinitely just God. these two balance against each other, and generally speaking, for the repentant, God is merciful, but God’s wrath is not forever postponed for the fools who think they can get away with something.
having said all of that, i must admit that for years after reading the novel 1984, i was afraid of absolute authority. i was afraid of the totalitarian features of it. so i was against the soviet union, being a form of a government that was all-powerful compared with other structures in that society. i was against the torture of dissidents. and i took that in the form of being anti-psychiatry. after 9/11, when the hysteria was stirred up, i was afraid of what the government in the united states was doing to people who were considered terrorists.
but one day a relative simply said to me, don’t be afraid of any government employee doing their job. don’t be afraid of authority. if you are detained, which is incredibly unlikely, just say, there is nothing that i can do to help you. i wish i could help you but i can’t. so i lost the fear that had been with me since i read 1984, a fear of totalitarianism. God is authority, and God loves us all infinitely. that’s the message Jesus has brought to us. there is no need to be frightened of authority of any kind. the Bible also says, don’t mess with those who are plotting revolution against authority. having said that, then why is george washington a hero? because the american revolution succeeded, because God is with us. but the minute we turn our back on God as a nation, i fear for the future of america.
stereolab opened my eyes, through their lyrics (as in the song ping pong), to the idea that corporations will not last forever, and nations will not last forever either. yet as long as humanity exists, we are to love other people, and that love comes through in their music. but i will be loyal to america the rest of my life, as we have more freedom here than anywhere else in the world.
the song eye in the sky reminds me that God’s justice is perfect, and that those who think they are going to get away with something that is wrong, are mistaken. the album’s image is that of the eye of ra, which is such a powerful symbol of God’s perfect knowledge of us, that any other man-made totalitarian structure is made self-destructive when exposed to the light of God’s day.
america, best of
April 24th, 2010the band america from the 70’s mainly, is an amazing band. i’m always glad when i get a chance to listen to that album on my computer. the 70’s seemed to be a time, like the 30’s, when films were great, and when music was warm, when people were loving. a lot of harshness has come into the world since the 70’s. a lot of war. a lot of conflict. but when candide (voltaire) says we should make a garden, tend to our garden, i see that as an invitation to re-create the harmony that existed when we were young and all was well. some people start families. some people are creative in other ways. creating my web site has been very rewarding for me, and God bless you, my readers.
smiling, eye contact, making the other person feel welcome
April 24th, 2010the older i get, the more i understand, for example, at the marketplace, at the grocery store, make eye contact with other people in line, smile, and make the other person feel welcome. this is the sunshine, the rain, the soil, the life, that is warm, rather than cold, and it creates a good community. make small talk. ”you never know” what might happen as a result. don’t go by that old song, “don’t talk to strangers.” i say, “DO talk to strangers.” the same is true on an airplane, with the people next to you.
you don’t want to be like the grinch, whose heart was 3 sizes too small.
rem, fables of the reconstruction
April 23rd, 2010an album i keep going back to is r.e.m., fables of the reconstruction (reconstruction of the fables.) though some have described it as “dark” i keep to the songs that i love best, which i see no darkness in. green grow the rushes is perhaps my favorite on the album. i also like maps and legends. altogether, the album seems somewhat magickal as the lyrics need to be interpreted—- ready and easy interpretation is lacking, yet the effect is like a slow and smooth wave form. i like driver 8 quite a bit too. if 8 could be said to be the number of (conservative?) perfection, then after the 80’s, after the reagan revolution, perhaps this song is saying, now look out for the little guy. now look out for the minorities, for the people who are hungry. we are a big enough, wealthy enough society to protect the interests of the little guy. so i am glad i am not part of that small government big military wing. finally, wendell g is a song about an older gentleman in a small town in the south. it’s one of the gentle songs on the album and has the southern feel to it, as after all, as one person said, the word “reconstruction” is in the title of the album, and the south underwent reconstruction after the civil war. so some southern style songs (banjo songs?) are welcome.
the big bounce by elmore leonard
April 23rd, 2010the big bounce is a novel by elmore leonard, the first (or one of the first) he had written and gotten published. it’s worth reading if you are an elmore leonard fan, which i am. when i find an author i love, i decide to try to read every single one of his or her works. having said all of that, the humor and concise dialogue of a typical elmore leonard book are not quite there, as this book was written early in his career. he had trouble at first getting it published, but once his name was established, he got it published. it’s a book about a man, with a little more money than a drifter, who gets involved with a trouble-seeking, thrill-seeking girl, who tries to get him involved in a plot to steal tens of thousands of dollars. the name of the novel refers to what a certain type of girl seeks: a big bounce, a thrill in life, a way to steal something, wreck something, or harm people as a thrill. the girl likes to shoot out windows of houses with a gun, or break windows with rocks. the book brings up the subject in the mind of the reader: what does it mean to be a real human being, willing to add value, versus simply being a schemer, a plotter, a criminal? elmore leonard has made a career making entertaining books about petty criminals and their plots against each other, yet i’m not at all sure meeting the actual characters themselves would be a welcome experience: they know what they want, they go for it, and it is in the conflict between them that the story resides and progresses.
the quality of communication
April 23rd, 2010i used to be 100 percent anti-psychiatry. now i believe people do the best they can. you have to see the best in other people. there will be some wrong actions in any situation, but there are no inherently evil people. for that reason, i do not hate psychiatrists. they’re doing the best they can, most of them. at the same time, the system as it exists now is problematic. i believe in a system that would be all-natural and non-coercive. that means no force is used, no forcible electroshock, no forcible drugging. no implied threats of being locked up. at the same time, we have to admit that there are people who have “problems in living.” for those people we should have soteria houses where no one is forcibly drugged, but attention is given and problems are resolved. we need to do all we can to protect human rights in the psychiatric system.
go to this web site: www.mindfreedom.org
it all comes down to how you communicate. the quality of communication. it needs to be a major chord, harmonic. or at least see the beauty in the situation and the beauty in the other person, whether that is a major or minor chord. music has a lot in common with speech. i like to say, “the quality of communication is karma.” in other words, “character is destiny.” the way you communicate, the touch your voice has on the other person, your smile, your welcoming, is either warm or it is cold. you want it to be warm. start out by assuming that you have something positive to give the other person. this is the basis for real salesmanship. you have something of value to give the other person. then sacrifice your time, your effort, your money, to make the other person feel welcome and to give to the needy.
communication is what separates the successful from the unsuccessful. the quality of communication.
two dreams, two demons
April 23rd, 2010in one dream, i used to have dreams about vampires frightening me. of course, we read that vampires never enter your house unless invited in. even so, when i would watch salem’s lot, on dvd, i would have a dream about a vampire coming to frighten me or get me.
so i started clutching a catholic cross in the minutes before falling asleep. that night, i had once again the dream about a vampire who had come to scare me, but this time i had a cross in my hand, and i put it right in his forehead. it hissed as it touched his skin.
for these reasons, i can’t really claim to have much sympathy for the romance novels between a human girl and a vampire guy. to me, vampires are all evil.
i guess concepts change over a period of time.
after i killed the vampire in my dream, i found it easier to describe myself as a Christian and to engage in the spiritual warfare which is opposing the devil and his lies, for example influencing where you go on the internet. you want to say to the devil, get thee behind me, satan. you want to follow Jesus at all times and in all places, including when you’re on the internet. there is no secret that will not be exposed on the Day of Judgment.
recently i had a dream that someone leapt to his death. he had been suicidal. so i wonder—- is there a way to convince people that life is value, that life has value, infinite value? to stay alive until God takes you home to heaven? to have a reason to live? so i subscribed to a suicide oriented blog recently. if i am to become a counselor (a possibility anyway) then i should understand despair and how meaning (as in logotherapy, viktor frankl started this movement, and i love it.) —-how meaning can cause you to see life as full of hope and worth living.
another book i have that i have read most of, is a book about how to deal with suicidal veterans who have come back from war but lost the will to live. in other words, how to gain meaning in life, how to regain a hopeful attitude, hope for the future being better than the present. again, for being a wounded healer, a counselor, this book would be useful to me if i could get a job at the Veteran’s hospital. first, i need to get a master’s degree. i have a bachelor’s in philosophy. thanks is due to President Obama, for making it easier to borrow and pay back student loans.
progress, not perfection, the big book of alcoholics anonymous
April 22nd, 2010reading the big book of alcoholics anonymous, a blue volume, is helpful in a lot of ways. the 12 steps are useful in many different ways, in giving up desire to control everything, and to give God control. in recovery people say, “progress, not perfection.” ”always arriving, never arrived.” if it’s not addiction in a lifestyle, then it’s recovery. those are the two opposites. and to stay in recovery, feed your soul with spiritual food. read the Bible. pray. read Christian books. watch or listen to Christian programs. and speak out about what it takes to overcome an addiction, “one day at a time.” it’s not God as someone else defines Him. it’s God (a Higher Power) as YOU define Him. so there is a lot of power in the big book of alcoholics anonymous. it is good for those who are fooled by the devil into a self-destructive, alcoholic lifestyle, but also for family members who have been affected.
keys in philip k. dick
April 22nd, 2010a key is something that unlocks a door. a key, in terms of understanding a whole book, is something that enables you to look at reality in a different way, according to the interpretation that you have from a book.
philip k. dick has a lot of keys in his fiction. he is not afraid to take on nazis in his portrayal of them (he has one character say that they are, essentially, an insect life form. they have devolved to the stage of insects.) he is not afraid to take on big pharmaceutical companies, and addiction to drugs, as in a scanner, darkly. every short story of philip k. dick has a key in it. in one story, the father thing, a father is killed and is replaced by a thing from outer space, who looks exactly like his father. only the son knows what has gone on.
goal: read every story philip k. dick has written, whether in the form of a novel or a short story.
hall and oates
April 22nd, 2010hall and oates had their music inside of them. they expressed it in specific songs, and were justifiably lauded as great song writers, but their life-affirming music was inside of them all the time. the same is true of all great song writers. get in touch with who you really are. that’s where the money is, that’s where the music is, and the love.
the national debt and inflation
April 22nd, 2010a simple way to understand the national debt is this—- the government (especially in a time of war) will increase inflation. inflation, to put it simply, is the increase in the total supply of money, with limited goods, which results in an increase in the price or a decrease in the package size of, for example, breakfast cereals. so, yes, obama is, i think, correct in spending a lot of money during a recession, during this Great Recession, but don’t be surprised when the food at the grocery store is either more expensive or the size of the cereal boxes, for example, get smaller.
there are those who say that being on a gold standard will get rid of inflation. i’m not in favor of the gold standard. even so, a gold standard would be be better than hyperinflation. best of all is very low inflation. deflation is worse than inflation.
what is my point? be aware of money. be infinitely aware. be aware of financial planning and what your priorities should be. first of all, start an emergency fund of 6 to 12 months’ worth of money. then save 10 or 20 percent of your total take home income every pay check and save and invest it in whatever you think best.
in a time of trouble, it is better to have some extra money than to have to beg someone else.
when never again means never again, strongholds of the devil
April 22nd, 2010the addiction of pornography is a stronghold of the devil.
throw it all away, if you have anything like that. resolve never again to get into that lifestyle. be the sort of person for whom “never again” literally means “never again.”
“the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds.”
the mind, somewhere has a record of every image you have ever seen. man is indeed a fallen race. compare man with ants. ants are always busy. ants always know what they are to do. man, on the other hand, often does the devil’s work. we are not only evil, we are sick, we are insane, as a species, partially insane. if we do something in order to gain a dollar, something evil, then we are doing the devil’s work for a bad reason. ”what profiteth a man to gain the whole world but to lose his own soul?”
so, those images will be magnetic and will try to influence your behavior. God, however, is stronger than the devil. God determines right from wrong.
let go of the old self. ”the old man is gone, the old things are gone, behold, all is new.” when you are truly saved by Jesus, you know it because your lips have said, “the Lord Jesus” and you know Jesus will resurrect your life into a life of salvation the way he himself was resurrected from the dead.
relating to God as Father
April 22nd, 2010just as Jesus was the only begotten Son of God, we too have been adopted into God’s family through Jesus and in much the same way we have a Father in Heaven. He cares about us. pray to Him as Father. entrust Him with your concerns. and if problems don’t get solved, keep praying. Jesus talked about the person who knocked on the door in the middle of the night asking for bread. just to get rid of the person, a loaf of bread was given. be persistent in your prayers. pray for other people’s well being as well, your relatives, your loved ones, your friends.
we are who we are in relation to other people
April 22nd, 2010as much as i would like to say, we are who we are eternally according to our essence, which is the same alone or with others,
it is true, i think, that we are who we are in relation to other people. i am an uncle. i am a brother. those are things that i need to think about, as i think about my obligations to others.
when you meet new people, be honest, but don’t look back particularly, to the past, or don’t look away, particularly, to something other than the beauty of the other person.
miracle
April 22nd, 2010miracle, as of two days ago, is officially my favorite movie. it ranks number one on the list of top 70 movies.
i remember the day i first saw the movie miracle. i saw it with my Dad, with two of my brothers. so i have that experience in common with my loved ones. later i realized that if i saw a movie with my Dad, even if it was just an old western on TV, it was destined to be an important movie to me. my Dad liked the movie a great deal.
it’s a film about the way in which a team was selected and came together to defeat the soviet olympic team in 1980. the fact that it actually happened is the basis for my love of this film, along with kurt russell’s portrayal of herb brooks as a man so far ahead of his time in terms of coaching hockey that it was his drive and genius that enabled america to defeat the soviet union on the ice.
the idea i come away with in watching this film (i must have seen it 9 or more times) is that honor comes from doing your best, no matter what the outcome is. don’t leave anything on the table. do your best. don’t give 99 percent. give 100 percent.
if herb brooks is portrayed as sadistic or cruel or harsh, it is presumably this genius for leadership that he has.
i also want to thank Disney for having the idea to create this movie. in the 70’s, america felt horrible about itself. we needed something like this hockey win. we needed someone to be a winner. herb brooks was a winner, and he was honorable as a man as well. he asked for the best from others, and he gave the best himself.
the soviet union ultimately could not keep up with america on the issue of spending money for armaments. so when the soviets became the russians once again, and said they were no longer going to be our enemies, then the terrorists went ahead and said, we will be america’s enemy.
so, now we have an enemy who would be willing to blow up any american, any city, any military outpost. it is a more dangerous time we live in. the crusades have come back. we are giving our best idea to the iraqis, democracy, and let us hope it takes root and blooms.
if you want love, make it.
April 22nd, 2010if you want love, make it. sink in a deep sea of blankets.
john mayer. lyrics. i used to think that was the message of the song. if you want love, make it.
i didn’t hear the whole lyrics. but it’s true. every time you deal with other people, you can “make love.” better than making hatred or coldness.
going to west acres to buy christmas presents
April 22nd, 2010one theme that runs throughout my childhood is the image i have of my Dad opening up his wallet and giving all of us kids something like 40 dollars at least. he was a very generous father. i also remember those rainy days when we were on vacation and in a place with video games. he would get change for his money and give us change to play games.
we used to have christmas materials that we would put up once a year. then my Mom decided that some of them would be put up all year round. one of them i think was from denmark. a wooden scene of a house, a family, and some Danish words. it had been in the family for generations, i think.
then there was a picture of santa claus that was taped on the inside of the front door. he was round cheeked, and had red cheeks from the cold, and was smiling, as he was presumably giving lots of presents to children.
later in life, it seemed to me that my own Dad was a lot like Santa Claus. Dad, too, was very generous with his children. i remember those days near Christmas when we would go out to the shopping center, west acres, in order to get Christmas presents for our brothers and sisters. my Dad once again would open up his wallet and he would give us some money.
i say all this not just because i want to dwell on the past, but also for this reason: remember the good points about the past. let the negative things alone. read the book of Proverbs. conceal the matter if it is negative, and from years ago. are you foolish? then read the book of Proverbs and Ecclesiastes and pick out a Psalm and memorize it. my favorite psalm maybe is Psalm 91.
i was in a bad situation one time. i was locked up, and i called a Christian Science practitioner, and she recommended reading and memorizing Psalm 91. this was some years ago, but i will always remember that. there are depths to Christian Science that you only get if you’re willing to work hard at understanding it.
but i do hope one day to be a father and a husband. if not, then at least i hope to give a lot of money to charities that provide housing and school and shelter and clothing food etc. to the “widow and the orphan” in society.
coffee as a friend
April 22nd, 2010i have only a few friends; i have to consider and value what i have. coffee is to me, a friend, or at least it reminds me of certain thoughts. when i drink coffee in the morning, i think, “maybe i can get some stuff done today.” of course, it also leads to insomnia, to not being able to sleep sometimes. so you take the good with the bad. two cups of coffee is more than enough for me.
i also remember those days when i first started drinking instant coffee. my Mom would be sitting there in the kitchen, as she always was, maybe reading a book. she loved coffee too.
my love of coffee has had its ups and downs. one time i drank a bad batch of coffee—- i was awake for 3 days in a row it seemed. so certainly i have a mixed relationship, some fear, some love, with coffee. listening to jazz, having a little coffee, early in the day, what could be better?
true contrition, true repentance
April 18th, 2010true contrition
true repentance
turning to God. God as a personal Savior. God as a Father who loves you.
From a great distance he sees his son who has returned and soon will be home.
get on your knees and pray.
the Bible says “God is love.”
the Bible does not say, “women and men, hate and betray each other.” yet that’s what the internet is apparently all about. the pornography that exists on the internet.
when the Bible says, “God is love,” it also refers to a state of absolute love and trust between men and women.
“if love is forever, i’m a winner at a losing game.” –country music song. rascal flatts.
“i know you didn’t do it.”
April 17th, 2010one time when i was living with my Mom and Dad my Mom told me not to put items made of glass into the sink when it was full of water. i ignored it, thinking that i could get away with it, and one time a glass broke in the sink. for whatever reason, it seemed that the glasses we had in the house tended to break eventually, and they would be replaced by other glasses which were also fragile. at any rate, this broken glass was in the water, and so i had to empty the sink and try to get every piece of broken glass and throw them away, without cutting my hand. i told my Mom that there was a broken glass in the sink, and i tried to tell her that i was the one who had put the glass in there, but she smiled and shook her head. she said “i know you didn’t do it.” this reminds me of the idea that God knows only good things about each and every one of us. ”his eyes are too pure than to behold evil.” what, then, of the idea of God as perfect Judge? i don’t know the answer to that question. i do know that our time on earth is limited, and we can do only so many good or bad deeds before we die, and there is a sense in my soul that the day of Judgment is coming. but i would like to believe that God is a perfectly good God. but that also means he is a perfectly just and holy God. we shall see. according to my Christian beliefs that i rely on, Jesus took my place and He was punished in my place. so now there is no need for me to go to hell forever, though i deserve it, as a sinner.
“i’m sorry that He had to die for us.”
April 17th, 2010one time my Mom stopped me in the hallway of our house. this must have been about a year before she died in 2000. she said to me, with her eyes piercing me, “Chris, i’m sorry that He had to die for us.” i think i shrugged off her belief, with a smile, as at the time i was a fool. i must have said something like, “don’t worry about it.” but now i know that her faith in Jesus Christ was the main thing she had to give me, and she wanted to make sure that i was willing to carry the flame of faith one more generation. it was her gift to me, and i have to admit that throughout much of my life i was a fool. it is only when you truly accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior that you cast off the foolishness. and i have done that. Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. and i believe that God raised Him from the dead. so i am saved, and it is my obligation to preach Jesus to as many people as i can.
God’s mercy and doing something, soap, confession
April 17th, 2010let’s say you don’t wash your dishes for a day or two. even three or four days. finally, you are filled with a resolution to get them all washed. it is the gift of God. God’s mercy. the same is true with anything. washing clothes. taking a shower. shaving. just do it. there is something sacred about the blue dishwashing liquid, the soap. wash dishes by hand. don’t use the machine. the soap is like when a priest says, your sins are forgiven. you confess, and the priest can take it. you might be the worst sinner in the world, but the priest can take it, and your sins will be forgiven you.
philip k. dick and Jesus
April 17th, 2010i think philip k. dick, a true Gnostic Christian, said this about Jesus, that he said to God: We (humanity) are in need of medical attention. in other words, Jesus is the soul doctor, and Jesus is the ONLY soul doctor we need. all you have to do is go on a search engine, or go on the internet, and you will find insanity. it’s not just evil. it’s insane because it is a pure vacuum of meaning. thus, it is not a crime or a moral crime. it is a vacuum which must be filled by preaching Jesus. the same kind of vacuum existed when the nazis put Jews into a literal vacuum to see how long it would take for them to die. this stuff on the internet is the same kind of nazi vacuum of meaning. and it will destroy our society if more people don’t take a stand for Jesus. i’m not talking about liberal or conservative, democrat or republican. i’m talking about Jesus, preaching Jesus, preaching “God is Love.” the evil-doers are not doing evil because they want to, but because they are insane. it is up to Christians, as the sane party, to preach sanity once again. at a certain point, abortion became legal, and pornography became legal. people became promiscuous, and birth control was offered and preached. at the same time, there are those who want to take down the Ten Commandments from the public square and remove all references to God and prayer from schools. so yes, i am a democrat, but on some issues i am a conservative and a Christian. in the aztec empire, sacrificial victims had their still beating hearts cut out as a sacrifice to the gods. now, in the american empire, bondage people have other kinds of sacrificial victims. people’s lives are being messed up or even destroyed. if they had their way, america would become a cruel society that would ultimately self-destruct. or america would be invaded by other people. pornography always has victimization, because it always is a slippery slope. more innocent pictures lead to more and more evil on the slippery slope. so philip k. dick was right. we are in need of a massive dose of sanity. and Jesus is the soul doctor, who preaches love.
kid rock, cowboy
April 17th, 2010the main theme of the song cowboy by kid rock is that he wants to go out west to california and enjoy himself, have lots of sex, look at lots of pornography, and in general be an outlaw. ”why they want to pick on me?” he asks about the police. i have some affection for the song, because it probably is true that he came from a trailer, as a lot of rappers came from poverty and worked their way up, singing rebellious songs. so in that sense, in the sense that i can see detroit collapsing in on itself, and kid rock coming out of that urban catastrophe, i have some affection for the song. he’s a survivor, and he has little people fighting each other in his video. he has a following of at least one midget. (or do they prefer “little people”?) and i can see why people in the u. s. military love the song. having said all of that, i can also see what a former co-worker once said about rock and roll being true: that it is cynicism. it’s a cynical song. it’s a song that implies that all that is true of life is sexuality. that all of society is breaking down but that sexual desire is still going strong. america is a society that is partially broken down. just look at the pictures of the houses in detroit that have been abandoned and are rotting and partially demolished. our music has become more primitive, now focusing more on rapping than on music itself. there was a philosopher who said america is the last primitive society. if you listen to the cynical music, then sometimes listen to classical music, bach, tchaikovsky, mozart. listen as well to the less cynical music.
infinite importance
April 17th, 2010the old ways, Christianity in particular, are good. it is good to hear a person speak from the wisdom of her years. so i like what Gloria Copeland has to say when she speaks. i like to hear Kenneth Copeland. i like to hear pastors when they give sermons.
this is a crazy world, and it keeps getting crazier. where you go on the internet is infinite in importance. do you go to the crazy sites, the sites where there are no merciful actions for the opposite sex? then God will have no mercy on humanity. God says, be not deceived, what you sow, you shall reap. God is not mocked. God knows where you go on the internet. God may decide to destroy civilization. or he might decide to destroy humanity. so the legalization of pornography has led to insanity, and if we have an insane civilization, it will not hold together. if men and women cannot trust each other at all, then there will be no next generation.
religion, philosophy
April 17th, 2010i want to increase the scope of this blog, so i will be adding some religious points of view and some philosophy, meaning of life issues.
the rain song, led zeppelin
April 17th, 2010what can i say, the rain song is great. on the weekend when you can relax a little, have a cup of coffee, it is a good thing to listen to the rain song.
quo vadis
April 16th, 2010quo vadis is a movie about a roman military man, back in the early days of Christianity, who falls in love with a Christian woman. it also features peter ustinov as a memorably evil emperor nero. with a cast of thousands, it’s worthwhile to see this movie, if you are interested at all in the first days of Christianity in the roman empire, including the life and death of the apostle Peter. nero is not only evil, for example in setting on fire the city of rome, but he wants to be beyond good and evil, more good than the best, more evil than the worst. in that sense nero reminds me of the evil in the idea of the overman by nietzsche. it is best to be good as defined by humankind, rather than trying to go beyond these limits. he sings his insipid poems and songs, and exemplifies sadistic evil as he dreams up new ways to kill Christians. it takes moral courage to be a good guy, but it takes a certain genius, as peter ustinov has as an actor, to play a villain well.
dementia 13
April 16th, 2010dementia 13 starts out with a woman who has killed her husband. already we are in a state of murderous insanity, which will go throughout the film. she goes to a castle where her husband’s family lives. she is trying for her own reasons to drive her mother in law insane, so she puts some dolls from her dead husband’s younger sister in a pond. that’s where she sees a body and a grave stone, at the bottom of the pond. when she screams on the surface of the pond, she is killed by an axe wielding maniac. this is the sort of thing that happens time and again in the film. i thought at first that it would be a supernatural horror film. but it turns out that it’s more about the insanity of one of the family members. it was directed by francis ford coppola. the satisfying ending of the film is simply based on the psychiatric understanding that the axe wielding maniac got caught and his insanity was understood by the doctor of the family. all in all, this is an amazing film, the first time you see it. you think at first that it’s shlock, but it’s well made considering the time and the budget. and the motivation of the killer goes back to guilt over a young girl’s death. though we cannot forgive the murders, at least we can understand a bit of the motivation.
tenderness
April 16th, 2010tenderness follows a boy recently released from prison after having, as a youth, killed his mother and father. russell crowe plays a police detective who is determined to get the boy locked up again, being convinced that the boy is a psychopath and belongs behind bars. the plot gets a bit more complicated when a 16 year old (or is she actually 15?) expresses to the boy that she is in love with him. despite numerous efforts to send the girl back home, the two of them are together for some time as he takes a road trip for the stated purpose of going to visit some college campuses. tenderness is a serious film, and the 16 year old’s love for the serial killer takes center stage. her love could potentially be self-destructive, yet that does not stop her from loving the 18 year old. perhaps the subtext of the movie is “love is blind.” can we help it if we love who we love? i had thought, as well, when starting watching this film, that russell crowe’s detective character would end up getting in trouble for becoming a bit obsessed with this boy, who’s been released due to turning 18. crowe never really gets in trouble, which seems to vindicate the police-oriented point of view of the entire film, which seems to suggest that serial killers simply deserve to be locked up, to protect the public. in that sense, it is a bland film, repeating the justice system’s assumptions. it is also interesting to note that russell crowe may be reaching the age where he is no longer a main character, where he is no longer the lead. i wish him well. but repeating the assumptions of the police system/prison system just doesn’t interest me that much. the film doesn’t take that many risks. the basis of Christianity is that people do change. the leopard can change his spots. the assumption of this film, however, is that it is possible that the leopard can never change his spots. people are always who they are. as such, this is a rather depressing film. it is worth watching, though, because the 16 year old’s philosophy of life brings a smile, a philosophy that love is above all, above life, and even above death in importance. though there is something unhealthy and illegal about a relationship between a 16 and an 18 year old, a tragedy is still worth watching, and people who believe wholeheartedly in love can be self-destructive when they don’t get what they want. but it’s still worth watching.
movies, music
April 16th, 2010i am changing the purpose of this blog to mainly focus on movies and music, TV shows and entertainment and books.
psilocybin experiments
April 13th, 2010i think it is self evident that we should allow certain hallucinogens like psilocybin to be legal. a story in today’s new york times talks about the drug and studies that showed very meaningful spiritual experiences that resulted from experiments of using it. is america afraid of shamanic chemicals? these drugs should be legal.
legalize marijuana
April 13th, 2010marijuana is a natural herb, a natural thing. i think it is time to legalize it. start with legalizing it for medical marijuana. then for everyone. the prisons are full of non-violent offenders. we’re wasting money and time and destroying lives with prohibition.
the appeal of networking, salesmanship
April 11th, 2010with so called manic depression, or growing up in an alcoholic family, or suicidality when growing up in the family, or shame of some sort, then you try to fade into the background. you try to not be noticed. you stay all day inside for fear of laughter.
so that’s why i love the concepts of networking and salesmanship. you start with the assumption that you are no better than, and no worse than, anyone else. but that you have something positive to offer other people. you have something positive, a value to add to the lives of other people.
think of the plastic between a six pack that holds it together. when the six pack is done, the plastic is thrown away. now think of a book end that is made of bronze. it is something to pass on to the next generation or at the very least it could fetch a little money at a rummage sale.
if you have no self worth, no sense of self respect, then you see yourself as being like that plastic can holder. you are ashamed because you see yourself as being of no worth. and i have had that experience, coming close to seeing myself like that, in my lifetime.
it is better to see yourself as having inherent worth. you are inherently worthy, having value like gold, more than gold, more than all the gold in the world. your worth is more than anything made out of material things. you are absolutely unique, therefore infinite valuable. one gold piece, on the other hand, could just as easily be replaced by another gold piece. it is not unique as an item.
read books about networking and salesmanship. at the very least, when you’re applying for a job, you’re selling yourself as an employee. you need to stay positive and smile and make the other person feel welcome. this is the secret then: there are things you can do to help other people that no one else in the universe can do. you can help in unique ways, therefore in infinitely valuable ways. be careful, too, with the words that come out of your mouth. they can bless or curse. if you believe in your heart that Jesus is Lord, and confess with your tongue that Jesus is your Lord and Savior, that he rose from the dead, if this is true both in your heart and your mouth, then you are saved.
it is incredibly easy to get in with worldly music too, so be careful of that. ”mess with the bull and you’ll get the horn. mess with God and you’ll get porn.” this quotation is from the church of bob, from one crusade. you want to be as far away from worldliness and perverseness as you possibly can be, because there will come a day of Judgment by God. and what you sow, you shall reap.
do talk to strangers
April 11th, 2010i used to go to burger king sometimes, i guess i didn’t know any better
and on the radio in the restaurant i would hear “don’t talk to strangers
don’t talk to strangers. you know they’ll only use you up. don’t talk. don’t talk.”
and in the back of my head i must have internalized that command, as i thought to myself, don’t talk to strangers. i know they’ll only use me up.
when you go up to a stranger you run the risk of being seen as an *&% hole. you have to be a little drunk, if not on alcohol, then at least on zen, on laughter, on not taking the situation too seriously.
susan roane in her books talks about the need for an adult to re-wire the programming that you received by well-meaning adults when you were a child. do cross the street. do go somewhere where you don’t know anyone. do talk to strangers.
so i offer these lyrics:
do talk to strangers. do talk to strangers. you know they’ll possibly create something new and amazing with you. do talk. do talk.
you never know! as susan roane would say.
mix and mingle like carbon, the friendliest element, caspar, the friendliest ghost
April 11th, 2010better to mix and mingle, take the long way home, as supertramp says, what do you have to lose?
with nothing to lose and everything to gain, nothing to lose, nowhere to go oh
i wanna be (appear to be) sedated (like a cool cat) –the ramones
interact, introduce yourself, salesmanship, networking books…
best to be like carbon, the friendliest element.
better than being like argon or neon, the non-mixers and the absolutely isolated elements. then again, a neon sign can point the way to a friendly gathering place.
WRITE!
April 11th, 2010my teacher in high school, mr. m., one day just shouted, to everyone, “WRITE!” he was an english teacher.
that was his wisdom and his command. we had to bring it forth out of ourselves. Jesus says, if you bring it forth out of yourself, it will save you. if you do not bring it forth out of yourself, what you do not bring out of yourself will kill you.
now that i can look back on my high school years and high school teachers, it was mr. m. that had the most love for all of us. one day, from what i understand, he showed up and it was revealed he had a problem with alcoholism. i think he left the school on that day, and i don’t know if he ever came back. this was after i had graduated, moved on from his class.
what i’m saying is not to gossip about someone, but to say that sometimes the most idealistic and loving of us also have a problem that we try to deal with by drinking alcohol or using drugs. but this is one of my favorite memories of high school, and he was a beloved figure among us students. ”WRITE!”
we are all on the same side
April 11th, 2010i used to see a struggle as like a coin: it has two sides. us and them. us versus them.
then i started to think seriously about coming to a decision through consensus, as the japanese do, as the chinese do, as american indians do. when we all agree what is right, then we move ahead.
so now i see it more as a moebius strip. we’re all on the same side. we all want what’s best for all of us. we don’t need conflict for the sake of conflict. think of all that gandhi was able to do through non-violent resistance. so i believe in a better way of doing things. if there needs to be change, let it happen non-violently.
politics doesn’t interest me so much.
anti-psychiatry is interesting to the extent that we all want the same thing: people to be helped. i decided at some point that what i see is this: people who have problems communicating are the ones in trouble. so i think we should be taught empathy and kindness and how to listen to good music, not music that leads to strife and conflict for its own sake.
coffee
April 11th, 2010there is something good about making your own coffee. i bought a little unit, a 20 dollar little coffee maker by mr. coffee, and some ground coffee from starbucks at target.
yes, you have to make your own rituals of the day. different parts of the day have different philosophies. coffee, for me, represents the early part of the day, the time when you are still optimistic and feeling energetic about actually getting something done.
simplicity of communication
April 10th, 2010be simple.
don’t be angry or try to take revenge. don’t be too complex in your talking.
that is what i’m learning. the Quakers talk about simplicity of communication. say what you mean and mean what you say, in few words.
